GENIUS!

Souderton continues discussion on creating recreation board to oversee pool
Published: Thursday, September 15, 2011
By Emily Morris

Souderton Borough Council continues to mull over the option of creating a recreation board to look at overseeing its parks, and primarily its new pool.

“I think if we’re going to create a recreation board, then we at least have to give it some guidelines as to what this recreation board does,” Souderton Mayor John Reynolds said.

Wow. Such depth! Such... such substance! Why is this man not writing Civics textbooks? I think his talents are being squandered.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011
S-F football night all about community

Like every recent entry by Borsch, this post was short and didn't even try to be funny. Here's the concept:

One doesn’t have to like football to enjoy high school football night. That’s because in many towns, it’s about more than just football, it’s about community.

Get it? It's all about community. Let's see some examples of the great community spirit that Borsch experienced at ye olde Spring-Ford High School football game:

I’ve always enjoyed the atmosphere, the band, the cheerleaders, and the mascot. Spring-Ford’s mascot — Rowdy Ram — is particularly entertaining this year, interacting with fans, especially the younger children.

Hold up, son - a mascot that interacts with FANS and CHILDREN??? What a novel concept! This qualifies the Rowdy Ram as a gracious celeb.

And I’ve always loved the band.

"Here's a list of the things I liked: atmosphere, band, cheerleaders, mascot. Also, I liked the band." Borsch then talks about his own high school band and mentions Dan Fogelberg.

...The cheerleaders, of course, also help complete the experience...

Kinda already covered that.

All in all, high school football night is a great way to get a relatively low-cost evening of entertainment. But more importantly, it provides a wonderful sense of community, the benefits of which one can’t put a price on.

Tell me - what "sense of community" did he describe for us? He heard the band, saw a mascot, and watched cheerleaders. You could do all of these things while watching a game on television by yourself. Where was this wonderful atmosphere? What delightful characters did he interact with in the stands? What we have here is Borsch not having any ideas for a column, so he slaps some BS about "community" onto the boring story of his trip to a high school football game. Pulitzer Prize, here he comes!

Did I mention you should go out and see Rowdy Ram? The youngster in the suit is a hoot.

... Okay.

Grammar

mmorsch35 Well, that sweep pretty much buries the Braves, huh? Whose next? Brewers? OK.
about 11 hours ago

"Whose next?" [my emphasis] This post is definitive evidence that Borsch is at least as good a writer as 90% of YouTube commenters.