My friends, it cannot be denied: victory is, at long last, mine.
What tremendous changes a year and a half can bring! The glorious undertaking known as Inta Rightfield was begun as a way to protest the wretched writing, lazy journalism, slipshod editing and overall pomposity of one Michael Morsch. His output, both in print and on his Outta Leftfield weblog, was once prodigious, a tide of dreck that I battled with every ounce of my satiric strength.
As time went by, I received reports that Morsch himself (or Borsch, as I fondly called him) had chanced upon this blog and suspected that one of his disrespectful underlings was behind it. I heard from his former employees and co-workers, who uniformly verified the fact that he was - and is - a blundering, obnoxious clod. In a desperate attempt to prevent my routine ribbings, he even made his Twitter account private. Enthusiastic readers continued to tip me off about his work.
By 2012, however, it seemed as though ol' Mike had run out of steam. His weblog was virtually abandoned, and his print columns had degenerated into stale old re-hashes of his past glories. It was around the time that he self-published a book (it can now be purchased for $0.59, used, on Amazon) that I decided my work was most likely done, and turned my attention to other pursuits.
Then came the news in 2013: Montgomery Media executive editor to become Montgomery County director of voter services. Our boy had somehow wormed his way into a plush $75K political hack position. His qualifications? Meh! Who needs 'em? But it was true - my old foe was finally abandoning the profession of which he had made a mockery for so long. I'm not one to gloat, though. The knowledge that Outta Leftfield was dead was enough for me.
But then a curious thing happened. On a whim, knowing that he had just gone through his first round of real elections, I checked up on Morsch. His Twitter feed is again public, and again filled with inane baseball observations! One recent comment, to a nationally syndicated columnist, states, "The editing on this story is embarrassing." Yep! He's still, to borrow a quote from Dubya, "a Major-League asshole."
I also found a Letter to the Editor in the Ambler Gazette: Former Motgomery Media Executive Editor Michael Morsch will be missed. And at the bottom, nestled there like shining packages on Christmas morning, were two comments:
Steve - Yeah, I'm sure the Stoogeum and John Oates are also upset about him leaving. Who will be there to constantly write about them now?
Tex 2670 - Seriously--how about a little spell check???
These comments, ladies and gentleman, made my day and prompted my final post here. The power of Morsch has been broken (he routinely deleted negative comments like these). What's more, this very day, I learned that he had been dismissed from his cushy political appointment, and that the decision "wasn't his."
Of Michael "Mike" Morsch himself, what else can really be said? He was terrible. At his chosen profession - editor-cum-humor-columnist - he was not just awful, but also blissfully unaware of his own incompetence. He was a cliche, his "humor" and "knowledge" culled from Wikipedia and Animal House. He was also a martinet, using his position of authority to abuse his underlings, steal plush assignments for himself, and silence criticism. He was one of a breed of big, dumb bullies that everyone will meet in their lifetime. But as the comments above (and the recent news of his canning) revealed to me, the word was out on Morsch. Other people were watching, laughing, and shaking their heads.
Perhaps Inta Rightfield did a little good after all.
Showing posts with label Twitter Posts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Twitter Posts. Show all posts
Monday, February 17, 2014
Thursday, May 17, 2012
He's Written a "Book"...
Alright, apparently I have a little catching up to do here. Borsch has been on a roll, and there's one particular topic I want to address in detail. Let's do it!
On May 10, Borsch published a "column" entitled OUTTA LEFTFIELD: Get a whiff of this incredibly stupid idea, which of course is hilarious because the subject matter has to do with a smell! Get it? Quite frankly, though, I didn't feel like torturing either myself or you with another "according to a wire service story" post (aren't they all like that these days?). So I'll give you the highlights:
He says that the idea for an intoxicating spray is from the "Department of There Seems to be No End to Stupid Ideas That Aren’t Mine," which is a title so elaborate that it HAS to be funny. The spray was invented by researchers in France, which of course results in references to: croissants, Maurice Chevalier, and Pepe Le Pew. All on the first page. Such creativity! He wraps things up by saying that there is "a lot of stupidity in this country [America]." He's living proof.
There was also a May 16 column entitled OUTTA LEFTFIELD: Gobs of talented students invade 'The Blob's' bailiwick. He leads things off with this gem: Finally, I now have a connection to “The Blob.” Other than his physical girth? I'm surprised he passed up an opportunity for such self-deprecation. This was a terrible one. Basically, he's squeezing a column out of attending his own daughter's student film festival. He raves about how great she is, and that's about it.
Now here's a bit of news that just about everyone will love: on his twitter, Borsch posted the following on May 13:
Mike Morsch @mmorsch35 @welkappeal @RyanHafey My book, "Dancing in My Underwear: The Soundrack of My Life" comes out in June. It has a chapter on the Welk show.
My first thought was one of absolute heart-stopping mind-bending horror: "He found someone willing to publish the crap he writes OTHER than his own newspaper??? The way he phrased it, with the "comes out," sounds like his book was reciving some kind of official release. In a very Borschian move, I immediately went to Google. The top two (and only) results matching the search were by an online company called EduPublisher. Yes, it's true - for just $17.95 (!!!), YOU can be the proud owner of Borsch's book.
Everyone has a soundtrack to their life. But how many people get to talk to the artists who make up their soundtrack? “Dancing in My Underwear: The Soundtrack of My Life” is just such a story. Mike Morsch grew up in the rural Midwest,
Great God in Heaven - he's just recycling the suicide-inducing stories in his columns!
where his parents introduced him to the music of the 1960s and 70s, including such bands as the Beach Boys, The Association, America, Three Dog Night, The Doobie Brothers as well as iconic singers Elton John, Barry Manilow and Olivia Newton-John.
In other words, he had the most generic musical taste possible. "Wow, you listened to Elton John and Barry Maniolow in the 1970s? SO DID I!!!"
Then the career newspaperman moved to the East Coast at midlife and some 30 to 40 years later, had the opportunity to interview the artists that he had listened to as a young child up through his teenage years. The result is a joyous, reflective and sometimes flat-out funny memoir by this longtime journalist. At the heart of it all, Mike shares some of the insights he’s gleaned from interviews with these paragons of modern music. And you’ll hear it in their own voices.
"Joyous"? "Flat-out funny"? Either the person writing this has never read a word Borsch has written... or, more likely, Borsch is writing this about himself.
So sit back, fire up the turntable or click on your iPod and let Mike take you on an unforgettable journey through the soundtrack of his life.
Yep, he's writing this himself. By this point, I'm feeling a whole lot better, because Borsch obviously has not "sold" this piece of garbage to anyone. This is an online self-publishing company (as evidenced by the extremely generic cilp-art cover design). Reading the company's website, they'll "publish" anything, and will actually sell the book if anyone orders it (you have to pay for your own copy). If you really want to go all-out, as Borsch has done, and get your very own book website, they'll do that... for $295 dollars. Hey, Borsch - good luck getting a return on that investment!
I poked around on the book website just to revel in how hard he's trying. The Blonde Accountant's real name is apparently "Judy." Here's a classic:
Meanwhile, you'll come to know a most engaging character in his own right — a man who grows before your eyes from a certified member of "The Eighth-Grade Stupid Shit Hall of Fame" to a loving father and a highly respected member of his profession.
DEFINITELY writing this himself. "Highly respected"? Not according to those I've heard from as a result of this blog. Folks, this is amazing. My question is: do I really want to desecrate the memory of Andrew Jackson and waste almost $20 on this book, just to enjoy how wretched it is?
On May 10, Borsch published a "column" entitled OUTTA LEFTFIELD: Get a whiff of this incredibly stupid idea, which of course is hilarious because the subject matter has to do with a smell! Get it? Quite frankly, though, I didn't feel like torturing either myself or you with another "according to a wire service story" post (aren't they all like that these days?). So I'll give you the highlights:
He says that the idea for an intoxicating spray is from the "Department of There Seems to be No End to Stupid Ideas That Aren’t Mine," which is a title so elaborate that it HAS to be funny. The spray was invented by researchers in France, which of course results in references to: croissants, Maurice Chevalier, and Pepe Le Pew. All on the first page. Such creativity! He wraps things up by saying that there is "a lot of stupidity in this country [America]." He's living proof.
There was also a May 16 column entitled OUTTA LEFTFIELD: Gobs of talented students invade 'The Blob's' bailiwick. He leads things off with this gem: Finally, I now have a connection to “The Blob.” Other than his physical girth? I'm surprised he passed up an opportunity for such self-deprecation. This was a terrible one. Basically, he's squeezing a column out of attending his own daughter's student film festival. He raves about how great she is, and that's about it.
Now here's a bit of news that just about everyone will love: on his twitter, Borsch posted the following on May 13:
Mike Morsch @mmorsch35 @welkappeal @RyanHafey My book, "Dancing in My Underwear: The Soundrack of My Life" comes out in June. It has a chapter on the Welk show.
My first thought was one of absolute heart-stopping mind-bending horror: "He found someone willing to publish the crap he writes OTHER than his own newspaper??? The way he phrased it, with the "comes out," sounds like his book was reciving some kind of official release. In a very Borschian move, I immediately went to Google. The top two (and only) results matching the search were by an online company called EduPublisher. Yes, it's true - for just $17.95 (!!!), YOU can be the proud owner of Borsch's book.
Everyone has a soundtrack to their life. But how many people get to talk to the artists who make up their soundtrack? “Dancing in My Underwear: The Soundtrack of My Life” is just such a story. Mike Morsch grew up in the rural Midwest,
Great God in Heaven - he's just recycling the suicide-inducing stories in his columns!
where his parents introduced him to the music of the 1960s and 70s, including such bands as the Beach Boys, The Association, America, Three Dog Night, The Doobie Brothers as well as iconic singers Elton John, Barry Manilow and Olivia Newton-John.
In other words, he had the most generic musical taste possible. "Wow, you listened to Elton John and Barry Maniolow in the 1970s? SO DID I!!!"
Then the career newspaperman moved to the East Coast at midlife and some 30 to 40 years later, had the opportunity to interview the artists that he had listened to as a young child up through his teenage years. The result is a joyous, reflective and sometimes flat-out funny memoir by this longtime journalist. At the heart of it all, Mike shares some of the insights he’s gleaned from interviews with these paragons of modern music. And you’ll hear it in their own voices.
"Joyous"? "Flat-out funny"? Either the person writing this has never read a word Borsch has written... or, more likely, Borsch is writing this about himself.
So sit back, fire up the turntable or click on your iPod and let Mike take you on an unforgettable journey through the soundtrack of his life.
Yep, he's writing this himself. By this point, I'm feeling a whole lot better, because Borsch obviously has not "sold" this piece of garbage to anyone. This is an online self-publishing company (as evidenced by the extremely generic cilp-art cover design). Reading the company's website, they'll "publish" anything, and will actually sell the book if anyone orders it (you have to pay for your own copy). If you really want to go all-out, as Borsch has done, and get your very own book website, they'll do that... for $295 dollars. Hey, Borsch - good luck getting a return on that investment!
I poked around on the book website just to revel in how hard he's trying. The Blonde Accountant's real name is apparently "Judy." Here's a classic:
Meanwhile, you'll come to know a most engaging character in his own right — a man who grows before your eyes from a certified member of "The Eighth-Grade Stupid Shit Hall of Fame" to a loving father and a highly respected member of his profession.
DEFINITELY writing this himself. "Highly respected"? Not according to those I've heard from as a result of this blog. Folks, this is amazing. My question is: do I really want to desecrate the memory of Andrew Jackson and waste almost $20 on this book, just to enjoy how wretched it is?
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Lies, Lies, Lies
Mike Morsch @mmorsch35
Spent 2 1/2 hours pushing stories on social media and engaging audience. Wasn't that long ago bosses didn't want us online during work day.
Posted at 5:30 PM yesterday. Wow! Sounds like Borsch is jumping right into the digital age! Although I'd question exactly what "audience" (his 5 readers?) he is "engaging" (nauseating?), I'll take his word for it...
...or will I???
At 4:53 PM, he posted the following in response to some guy's tweet about Roy Halladay:
Mike Morsch @mmorsch35
@Plesac19 That's the way we felt about Doc in Philly last year before Game 5 of the NLDS. It didn't work out for us.
Engaging the audience... with baseball! At 4:30 PM he posted this:
Mike Morsch @mmorsch35
Seems to me that the obvious choice to play second base in Chase #Utley's absence is Cliff #Lee. Even when he's pitching.
Crackin' baseball jokes! Hilarious. And, apparently, engaging for his vast audience. Now get this exchange - and keep in mind, he's spent "2 1/2 hours" today "pushing stories on social media."
Jessica Quiroli @heelsonthefield
Brandon Laird and George Kontos among those sent to the minors. #Yankees
Mike Morsch @mmorsch35 (3:33 PM)
@heelsonthefield I did a story on Kontos a few years ago when he was in Trenton. Then he got traded. When did he comes back to the Yanks?
"When did he comes." Nice.
Jessica Quiroli @heelsonthefield
@mmorsch35 The Yankees also called him up in September.
Mike Morsch @mmorsch35 (3:44 PM)
@heelsonthefield I thought he went to the Pirates in the deal the Yanks made for the oft-injured rightfielder (can't remember his name).
Jessica Quiroli @heelsonthefield
@mmorsch35 In the Burnett trade?
Mike Morsch @mmorsch35 (4:04 PM)
@heelsonthefield BTW, here's my latest on "The Rotation" by Salisbury and Zolecki: http://bit.ly/GDYwRD
Mike Morsch @mmorsch35 (4:04 PM)
@heelsonthefield No, in the Xavier Nady trade from a few years back. I thought George was part of that deal.
Stories Pushed On Social Media: 1
Time Spent Bullshitting On Twitter About Baseball: 1 hour, 10 minutes
But wait! At 3:46 and 3:48 PM, he "pushed" his fascinating story about "The Rotation" (by Todd Zolecki and Jim Salisbury) to two different people! ...Too bad those two people were, in fact, authors Todd Zolecki and Jim Salisbury.
At this rate he might reach, like seven people in those 2 1/2 hours - and he might just get to the bottom of that George Kontos mystery, too!
I'm sure the bosses are pleased with that time management.
Spent 2 1/2 hours pushing stories on social media and engaging audience. Wasn't that long ago bosses didn't want us online during work day.
Posted at 5:30 PM yesterday. Wow! Sounds like Borsch is jumping right into the digital age! Although I'd question exactly what "audience" (his 5 readers?) he is "engaging" (nauseating?), I'll take his word for it...
...or will I???
At 4:53 PM, he posted the following in response to some guy's tweet about Roy Halladay:
Mike Morsch @mmorsch35
@Plesac19 That's the way we felt about Doc in Philly last year before Game 5 of the NLDS. It didn't work out for us.
Engaging the audience... with baseball! At 4:30 PM he posted this:
Mike Morsch @mmorsch35
Seems to me that the obvious choice to play second base in Chase #Utley's absence is Cliff #Lee. Even when he's pitching.
Crackin' baseball jokes! Hilarious. And, apparently, engaging for his vast audience. Now get this exchange - and keep in mind, he's spent "2 1/2 hours" today "pushing stories on social media."
Jessica Quiroli @heelsonthefield
Brandon Laird and George Kontos among those sent to the minors. #Yankees
Mike Morsch @mmorsch35 (3:33 PM)
@heelsonthefield I did a story on Kontos a few years ago when he was in Trenton. Then he got traded. When did he comes back to the Yanks?
"When did he comes." Nice.
Jessica Quiroli @heelsonthefield
@mmorsch35 The Yankees also called him up in September.
Mike Morsch @mmorsch35 (3:44 PM)
@heelsonthefield I thought he went to the Pirates in the deal the Yanks made for the oft-injured rightfielder (can't remember his name).
Jessica Quiroli @heelsonthefield
@mmorsch35 In the Burnett trade?
Mike Morsch @mmorsch35 (4:04 PM)
@heelsonthefield BTW, here's my latest on "The Rotation" by Salisbury and Zolecki: http://bit.ly/GDYwRD
Mike Morsch @mmorsch35 (4:04 PM)
@heelsonthefield No, in the Xavier Nady trade from a few years back. I thought George was part of that deal.
Stories Pushed On Social Media: 1
Time Spent Bullshitting On Twitter About Baseball: 1 hour, 10 minutes
But wait! At 3:46 and 3:48 PM, he "pushed" his fascinating story about "The Rotation" (by Todd Zolecki and Jim Salisbury) to two different people! ...Too bad those two people were, in fact, authors Todd Zolecki and Jim Salisbury.
At this rate he might reach, like seven people in those 2 1/2 hours - and he might just get to the bottom of that George Kontos mystery, too!
I'm sure the bosses are pleased with that time management.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Hmmm...
Mike Morsch @mmorsch35
Date night. Dinner and theater. Deciding now on which shirt I would like to spill dinner.
Is he baiting me? I think he's baiting me. I can only hope that an enthralling "we ate here, it was pretty good" post is upcoming.
Date night. Dinner and theater. Deciding now on which shirt I would like to spill dinner.
Is he baiting me? I think he's baiting me. I can only hope that an enthralling "we ate here, it was pretty good" post is upcoming.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Grammar
mmorsch35 Well, that sweep pretty much buries the Braves, huh? Whose next? Brewers? OK.
about 11 hours ago
"Whose next?" [my emphasis] This post is definitive evidence that Borsch is at least as good a writer as 90% of YouTube commenters.
about 11 hours ago
"Whose next?" [my emphasis] This post is definitive evidence that Borsch is at least as good a writer as 90% of YouTube commenters.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
The Cliche Train Keeps Rolling
Rightfield. Cheesesteak. Spillage. Beautimous.
3 hours ago via Twitter for Android
Amazing. He just never stops.
3 hours ago via Twitter for Android
Amazing. He just never stops.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Taking a Pass
Via Twitter:
Tough week last week. We lost our beloved family pet. Here is the column on that.
Ouch. I really can't touch this one; like Tony Soprano, I have a soft spot for pets. So like the Red Baron dropping a bottle of champaign down to Snoopy on Christmas, I'll just tip my cap to Mr. Morsch this week. We will meet again another day.
Tough week last week. We lost our beloved family pet. Here is the column on that.
Ouch. I really can't touch this one; like Tony Soprano, I have a soft spot for pets. So like the Red Baron dropping a bottle of champaign down to Snoopy on Christmas, I'll just tip my cap to Mr. Morsch this week. We will meet again another day.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Abrupt Reversal
Cliff Lee only needs one, doesn't he? Two is gravy.
4:49 PM Apr 8th via web
He gave up three in his first start, and you made three Twitter posts about what a horrible pitch he made to Carlos Lee. Now suddenly his career ERA is 1.00? As good as Cliff is, this is a preposterous statement.
Cliff Lee looking kind of pedestrain tonight. He doesn't apear to be fooling anybody.
5:22 PM Apr 8th via web
Wow, what a difference 33 minutes can make! Playing the "Spot the Morsch Typos drinking game" has been known to kill college students.
4:49 PM Apr 8th via web
He gave up three in his first start, and you made three Twitter posts about what a horrible pitch he made to Carlos Lee. Now suddenly his career ERA is 1.00? As good as Cliff is, this is a preposterous statement.
Cliff Lee looking kind of pedestrain tonight. He doesn't apear to be fooling anybody.
5:22 PM Apr 8th via web
Wow, what a difference 33 minutes can make! Playing the "Spot the Morsch Typos drinking game" has been known to kill college students.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
The Viper
Borsch's preview for his latest blog:
Phillies stunk and I froze last night. Then Chin-lung Hu entered the game for the Mets and I perked up.
I listened to the game on the radio. Hu came up to bat and the obvious thought popped into my head: "Hu's on first." Then the radio guys noted the same thing. Leave it to Borsch to run with a stale idea like this...
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Hu really is on first
Yep. I can't wait to see how he tries to string this out into a full post.
Jeez, I hope it wasn’t my fault. I finally got to my first Phillies game Tuesday evening. Up to that point, the home team was a perfect 3-0 to start the season. So I show up and everything goes to Hades in a handbag.
Borsch posted a 2-minute video to accompany the game; it's his classic "slow pans across random scenes" style.
Among the things that went wrong: Pitcher Cole Hamels stunk up the joint; it was cold; the Phillies didn’t hit much with runners in scoring position; it was really cold; the New York Mutts, uh . . . I mean Mets, did just about everything right, especially third baseman David Wright, who had four hits, two RBIs and two runs scored; and it was colder than a witch’s watoosie.
Ooooh, the "Mutts"! He went there, folks. He went there. Also, it's spelled "watusi," and it's a dance, not a slang term for "butt." Terrible.
When there’s nothing much to cheer about, I try to think up alternative things for which to root, root, root. Since the Phillies weren’t providing many options, I decided to cheer for:
(1) My hands to stay warm.
(2) My feet to stay warm.
(3) My hind end to stay warm.
All of which were as cold as the Phillies bats seemed to be in the frigid temperatures. Move along pal, nothing to cheer for here.
I'm going to go out on a limb here: it was a cold night, and the Phils lost?
Fortunately, the Mets provided me with a more interesting distraction. In the fifth inning, Mets manager Terry Collins replaced second baseman Brad Emaus with Chin-lung Hu, which immediately prompted me to ask myself, “What’s Hu doing on second? I thought Hu was on first.”
He's on a roll, folks! Can it count as a "joke" when you telegraph the punchline in the title?
Another of the things I do to enjoy the ballgame is keep a scorecard, which I’ve done since I was a kid. Over the years, that has kind of made me the unofficial stat guy for my section. Oftentimes I’ve been asked by those sitting near me how many strikeouts a certain pitcher has or how many hits a certain hitter has at that point in the game.
Can they see the scoreboard? Are they watching the game? Borsch obviously thinks he's slicker than greased diarrhea for doing this. Does he know how absurd this boast is? "Yeah, I'm pretty much the unofficial stat guy when I go to a game. Pretty cool."
The Mets new second baseman, who had entered the game in the fifth, batted in the sixth and singled up the middle. The Phillies fan sitting behind apparently had missed the lineup change.
“What’s the guy’s name on first?” he said after tapping me on the shoulder.
“Hu.”
“The guy on first?”
“Hu.”
“The guy who just got the base hit?”
“Hu.”
Blatantly, blatantly false. Never happened. Not in a million years. Nobody would make it past the second "Hu" and still not get it.
While I was amused by the whole exchange, I thought it best not to push it any further. Phillies fans aren’t exactly known for their patience and I didn’t want to take a chance of getting wacked upside the head by a guy who thought I was messing with him.
You could have just said "Chin-Lung Hu."
I finally had to show him my scorecard on which I had written Hu’s name.
“Oh, right,” he said.
No, he’s on third.
There was once an episode of the old GI Joe cartoon where they get threatening calls from someone known as "The Viper." In the end it's revealed that the guy had an accent and was saying "the wiper," as he was "coming to vash their vindows." This post reminds me of that - one thin, thin little pun dragged out entirely too long. Seriously, a whole post for a "who's on first" reference?
The last "joke" is bad, too. He dropped David Wright's name at the very beginning of the column, but by this point, 70% of his audience will have forgotten it.
Labels: Mets, Mike Morsch, Montgomery Newspapers, Outta Leftfield, Phillies
Phillies stunk and I froze last night. Then Chin-lung Hu entered the game for the Mets and I perked up.
I listened to the game on the radio. Hu came up to bat and the obvious thought popped into my head: "Hu's on first." Then the radio guys noted the same thing. Leave it to Borsch to run with a stale idea like this...
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Hu really is on first
Yep. I can't wait to see how he tries to string this out into a full post.
Jeez, I hope it wasn’t my fault. I finally got to my first Phillies game Tuesday evening. Up to that point, the home team was a perfect 3-0 to start the season. So I show up and everything goes to Hades in a handbag.
Borsch posted a 2-minute video to accompany the game; it's his classic "slow pans across random scenes" style.
Among the things that went wrong: Pitcher Cole Hamels stunk up the joint; it was cold; the Phillies didn’t hit much with runners in scoring position; it was really cold; the New York Mutts, uh . . . I mean Mets, did just about everything right, especially third baseman David Wright, who had four hits, two RBIs and two runs scored; and it was colder than a witch’s watoosie.
Ooooh, the "Mutts"! He went there, folks. He went there. Also, it's spelled "watusi," and it's a dance, not a slang term for "butt." Terrible.
When there’s nothing much to cheer about, I try to think up alternative things for which to root, root, root. Since the Phillies weren’t providing many options, I decided to cheer for:
(1) My hands to stay warm.
(2) My feet to stay warm.
(3) My hind end to stay warm.
All of which were as cold as the Phillies bats seemed to be in the frigid temperatures. Move along pal, nothing to cheer for here.
I'm going to go out on a limb here: it was a cold night, and the Phils lost?
Fortunately, the Mets provided me with a more interesting distraction. In the fifth inning, Mets manager Terry Collins replaced second baseman Brad Emaus with Chin-lung Hu, which immediately prompted me to ask myself, “What’s Hu doing on second? I thought Hu was on first.”
He's on a roll, folks! Can it count as a "joke" when you telegraph the punchline in the title?
Another of the things I do to enjoy the ballgame is keep a scorecard, which I’ve done since I was a kid. Over the years, that has kind of made me the unofficial stat guy for my section. Oftentimes I’ve been asked by those sitting near me how many strikeouts a certain pitcher has or how many hits a certain hitter has at that point in the game.
Can they see the scoreboard? Are they watching the game? Borsch obviously thinks he's slicker than greased diarrhea for doing this. Does he know how absurd this boast is? "Yeah, I'm pretty much the unofficial stat guy when I go to a game. Pretty cool."
The Mets new second baseman, who had entered the game in the fifth, batted in the sixth and singled up the middle. The Phillies fan sitting behind apparently had missed the lineup change.
“What’s the guy’s name on first?” he said after tapping me on the shoulder.
“Hu.”
“The guy on first?”
“Hu.”
“The guy who just got the base hit?”
“Hu.”
Blatantly, blatantly false. Never happened. Not in a million years. Nobody would make it past the second "Hu" and still not get it.
While I was amused by the whole exchange, I thought it best not to push it any further. Phillies fans aren’t exactly known for their patience and I didn’t want to take a chance of getting wacked upside the head by a guy who thought I was messing with him.
You could have just said "Chin-Lung Hu."
I finally had to show him my scorecard on which I had written Hu’s name.
“Oh, right,” he said.
No, he’s on third.
There was once an episode of the old GI Joe cartoon where they get threatening calls from someone known as "The Viper." In the end it's revealed that the guy had an accent and was saying "the wiper," as he was "coming to vash their vindows." This post reminds me of that - one thin, thin little pun dragged out entirely too long. Seriously, a whole post for a "who's on first" reference?
The last "joke" is bad, too. He dropped David Wright's name at the very beginning of the column, but by this point, 70% of his audience will have forgotten it.
Labels: Mets, Mike Morsch, Montgomery Newspapers, Outta Leftfield, Phillies
Monday, April 4, 2011
Borsch Hates Bill Hall
Bill Hall is on deck. Carlos Lee should see all curveballs.
5:32 PM Apr 2nd via web
Borsch doesn't like Hall. He's also apparently pitched 1,416 innings in the major leagues and is a Cy Young-winning pitcher, just like Cliff Lee.
Goddamit, Bill Bleepin Hall is on deck. There is nothing wrong with a 3-2 curveball in that situation. Even with the bases juiced, it's Hall
5:35 PM Apr 2nd via web
DARN YOU CLIFF LEE, YOU DON'T HATE BILL HALL ENOUGH! DISREGARD HIM MORE! The mustard-foaming, beer-spewing anger is palpable here.
Why throw Carlos Lee any fastballs in that situation, even on 3-2. It's Bill Bleepin Hall.
5:40 PM Apr 2nd via web
Agreed. After all, Hall is 0-for-698 in his career against Lee, with 691 strikeouts. He's never, ever gotten a hit or taken a walk. Right? Sheesh, if this is how he gets about one pitch, imagine spending a whole season with him. *Shudder*
5:32 PM Apr 2nd via web
Borsch doesn't like Hall. He's also apparently pitched 1,416 innings in the major leagues and is a Cy Young-winning pitcher, just like Cliff Lee.
Goddamit, Bill Bleepin Hall is on deck. There is nothing wrong with a 3-2 curveball in that situation. Even with the bases juiced, it's Hall
5:35 PM Apr 2nd via web
DARN YOU CLIFF LEE, YOU DON'T HATE BILL HALL ENOUGH! DISREGARD HIM MORE! The mustard-foaming, beer-spewing anger is palpable here.
Why throw Carlos Lee any fastballs in that situation, even on 3-2. It's Bill Bleepin Hall.
5:40 PM Apr 2nd via web
Agreed. After all, Hall is 0-for-698 in his career against Lee, with 691 strikeouts. He's never, ever gotten a hit or taken a walk. Right? Sheesh, if this is how he gets about one pitch, imagine spending a whole season with him. *Shudder*
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sub-Par Analysis
Quoth the Bard:
Is Nyger Morgan that much of a horse's patoot that the Nationals don't want a guy who does a decent job getting on and steals bases?
Unfortunately, his name is spelled "Nyjer."
Equally unfortunately, last year Morgan batted .253 and had a .319 OBP - hardly a "decent job." Struck out more than he walked. He did steal 34 bases, but he also got caught 17 times - second most in the Majors in 2010 (he got caught the most times in 2009).
So Morgan is a guy who can't get on base and is doesn't steal very well. Add in those 4 career home runs, and you have a sure-fire Borsch keeper!
Is Nyger Morgan that much of a horse's patoot that the Nationals don't want a guy who does a decent job getting on and steals bases?
Unfortunately, his name is spelled "Nyjer."
Equally unfortunately, last year Morgan batted .253 and had a .319 OBP - hardly a "decent job." Struck out more than he walked. He did steal 34 bases, but he also got caught 17 times - second most in the Majors in 2010 (he got caught the most times in 2009).
So Morgan is a guy who can't get on base and is doesn't steal very well. Add in those 4 career home runs, and you have a sure-fire Borsch keeper!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Yet Another Pre-Concert Interview
From Twitter:
Gov. Corbett's budget drawns mixed reaction locally.
"Drawns" - coming soon to any dictionary near you!
Storyteller Rodney Crowell to perform in Sellersville
Published: Tuesday, March 08, 2011
By Mike Morsch
Executive Editor
Well, it's not a country music concert, but... will Mr. Crowell describe the venue as "like being in someone's living room"? Will he refer to how intimate it is, and how you can relate more one-on-one with the audience?
Some of the highlights:
Rodney Crowell has always told stories with his songs. Now, he’s traveling the country telling stories about his storytelling, using both images and songs.
... What the hell does this even mean?
It evokes vivid memories of his childhood — of having volatile parents... beatings from his father... and how, through it all, he came to learn about love and forgiveness, all told with a gentle humor.
Got that? Volatile parents, abusive father, told with humor. Later:
His father... was a small town honky-tonk performer who always seemed on the brink of violence at home... Through it all though, Crowell tells his story with a humor not usually reserved for such domestic turmoil.
Got that? Abusive father, told with humor. I think we get it. We also learn that Mr. Crowell loves saying the word "narrative."
“Big metaphors work in songs. Whereas in trying to sustain a narrative, big metaphors betray the narrative because it becomes performance as opposed to narrative,” he said.
“The actual writer/audience relationship is very intimate. It’s really one-on-one. You entertain with what you manage to invoke in the audience’s mind. And to me, that’s a canvas I get to paint on with this one-man thing.”
In all fairness, I can't say that he's referring specifically to Sellserville when he says this.
Gov. Corbett's budget drawns mixed reaction locally.
"Drawns" - coming soon to any dictionary near you!
Storyteller Rodney Crowell to perform in Sellersville
Published: Tuesday, March 08, 2011
By Mike Morsch
Executive Editor
Well, it's not a country music concert, but... will Mr. Crowell describe the venue as "like being in someone's living room"? Will he refer to how intimate it is, and how you can relate more one-on-one with the audience?
Some of the highlights:
Rodney Crowell has always told stories with his songs. Now, he’s traveling the country telling stories about his storytelling, using both images and songs.
... What the hell does this even mean?
It evokes vivid memories of his childhood — of having volatile parents... beatings from his father... and how, through it all, he came to learn about love and forgiveness, all told with a gentle humor.
Got that? Volatile parents, abusive father, told with humor. Later:
His father... was a small town honky-tonk performer who always seemed on the brink of violence at home... Through it all though, Crowell tells his story with a humor not usually reserved for such domestic turmoil.
Got that? Abusive father, told with humor. I think we get it. We also learn that Mr. Crowell loves saying the word "narrative."
“Big metaphors work in songs. Whereas in trying to sustain a narrative, big metaphors betray the narrative because it becomes performance as opposed to narrative,” he said.
“The actual writer/audience relationship is very intimate. It’s really one-on-one. You entertain with what you manage to invoke in the audience’s mind. And to me, that’s a canvas I get to paint on with this one-man thing.”
In all fairness, I can't say that he's referring specifically to Sellserville when he says this.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Media Bias Ahoy!
Per a Borsch Twitter preview for a news story:
Rep. Josh Shapiro and Leslie Richards kick off the Dem campaign fo Montco commish. They're gonna win, you know.
Nice to see that our newspaper group editor maintains his journalistic neutrality, isn't it? Only a liberal douche like Borsch would flaunt his political bias so brazenly.
Sadly, he's right. Montgomery County PA has gone from Republican bastion to Democrat cesspool in one generation. Why? Because the vast majority of the GOP leadership share a number of similar traits:
1.) Old. These guys make Kirk Douglas look youthful. They have an undertaker on 24-hour standby. Their biggest special interest group is Depends Undergarments.
2.) White. Country-club white. Finding a black Republican in Montco is like finding a sober Irishman in March.
3.) Aggressively Passive. The idiots do nothing, and they're hostile about it. They don't do outreach because it wears out the batteries of their Rascals.
Rep. Josh Shapiro and Leslie Richards kick off the Dem campaign fo Montco commish. They're gonna win, you know.
Nice to see that our newspaper group editor maintains his journalistic neutrality, isn't it? Only a liberal douche like Borsch would flaunt his political bias so brazenly.
Sadly, he's right. Montgomery County PA has gone from Republican bastion to Democrat cesspool in one generation. Why? Because the vast majority of the GOP leadership share a number of similar traits:
1.) Old. These guys make Kirk Douglas look youthful. They have an undertaker on 24-hour standby. Their biggest special interest group is Depends Undergarments.
2.) White. Country-club white. Finding a black Republican in Montco is like finding a sober Irishman in March.
3.) Aggressively Passive. The idiots do nothing, and they're hostile about it. They don't do outreach because it wears out the batteries of their Rascals.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Borsch Gets Dumber
Ah, baseball - the thinking man's game. Is it any wonder that Borsch, who presumably has been watching it since childhood, is as bad at discussing it as he is at everything else? From Twitter:
Wouldn't making Blanton the No.1 increase the odds of winning four out of every five? Doc vs. No. 2, Lee vs. No. 3, Oswalt/Hamels vs. 4-5?
Michael Morsch, you are a stupid, stupid man. I thought you were dumb before, but now... NOW... Well, there aren't words for how idiotic this idea is.
Halladay, Lee and Oswalt are all #1s. Hamels is a solid #2, or he could be an ace for, like, Pittsburgh. Joe Blanton is a decent pitcher - a #3 or #4 guy. In baseball, you try to counter their best pitcher with your best pitcher. With Blanton going as the fifth starter, you have a middle-of-the-rotation type against the crappiest guy on the other team. That's a great match-up, and it gives you a better than average chance to win all five games.
Repeat: IT GIVES YOU AN ADVANTAGE IN ALL FIVE GAMES.
Now take Borsch's dumbass fart of an idea. Start Blanton against every other ace in the league. "Fat" Joe Blanton against Adam Wainwright. Tim Lincecum. CC Sabathia. Ubaldo Jimenez. In other words, an almost guaranteed loss.
So you go from having an advantage in all five games, to having virtually no chance to win one of them. Brilliant.
Wouldn't making Blanton the No.1 increase the odds of winning four out of every five? Doc vs. No. 2, Lee vs. No. 3, Oswalt/Hamels vs. 4-5?
Michael Morsch, you are a stupid, stupid man. I thought you were dumb before, but now... NOW... Well, there aren't words for how idiotic this idea is.
Halladay, Lee and Oswalt are all #1s. Hamels is a solid #2, or he could be an ace for, like, Pittsburgh. Joe Blanton is a decent pitcher - a #3 or #4 guy. In baseball, you try to counter their best pitcher with your best pitcher. With Blanton going as the fifth starter, you have a middle-of-the-rotation type against the crappiest guy on the other team. That's a great match-up, and it gives you a better than average chance to win all five games.
Repeat: IT GIVES YOU AN ADVANTAGE IN ALL FIVE GAMES.
Now take Borsch's dumbass fart of an idea. Start Blanton against every other ace in the league. "Fat" Joe Blanton against Adam Wainwright. Tim Lincecum. CC Sabathia. Ubaldo Jimenez. In other words, an almost guaranteed loss.
So you go from having an advantage in all five games, to having virtually no chance to win one of them. Brilliant.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Borsch Tweets the SuperBowl
Cocktail weenies, pizza rolls, mozzarella sticks and chip and dip. I am ready for the commericals. Baseball starts soon.
As I should have suspected, Borsch is almost fanatical about not being interested in football. It's all the more tragic because as a big, fat, dumb guy, he's practically already the perfect football fan.
Super Bowl prediction: Cliff Lee will throw for two TDs and run for another.
Guuuuuuuuwhaaaaaat??? But Cliff Lee is a baseball player! What a zany prediction! Seriously though... this guy can't enjoy one football game - the biggest of the year - without pining for baseball at every turn?
I like Joe Buck. A baseball guy.
No, he can't.
Joe Buck is the human equivalent of an early sports-talk video game that only has two phrases for any one activity. A player walks onto the field? "Here comes X." A player does something? "Here's X" or just "X." A pass is made over the middle? "Over the MIDDLE!" He's a boring, stiff, humorless dope.
Borsch loves him.
My stepson was cheering for the result of the coin toss. I don't know what else to say about that.
Because it's a fun part of the game? It's as much a part of football as, say, a pinch hitter is a part of baseball.
A-Rod at the Super Bowl. Well, I guess that could be considered some baseball news.
The heck? I don't spend the World Series eagerly awaiting a one-minute shot of Peyton Manning.
Now that we've had a look at A-Rod, can a shot of somebody feeding Boog Powell hotdogs be far behind?
I had to google Boog Powell to get this reference. He's a baseball player, of course. And he's fat. Therein lies the comedy.
Anytime a commercial can get by with saying the word "rack," well . . . .
Oooh, the word "rack" is so racy! How do they get away with this stuff, right?
I think Cliff Lee probably would have put on a better halftime show.
This is not only the sixth baseball reference, but the second Lee reference. If baseball references were the "joke" of these SuperBowl tweets, I'd say they've worn rather thin by now.
Al Swearingen playing Blackbeard in the next Pirates movie.
Apparently a reference to a character from the HBO show Deadwood whose name is actually Al Swearengen. I've never seen the show, but this is proof that an Internet search engine can spell better than Borsch.
As I should have suspected, Borsch is almost fanatical about not being interested in football. It's all the more tragic because as a big, fat, dumb guy, he's practically already the perfect football fan.
Super Bowl prediction: Cliff Lee will throw for two TDs and run for another.
Guuuuuuuuwhaaaaaat??? But Cliff Lee is a baseball player! What a zany prediction! Seriously though... this guy can't enjoy one football game - the biggest of the year - without pining for baseball at every turn?
I like Joe Buck. A baseball guy.
No, he can't.
Joe Buck is the human equivalent of an early sports-talk video game that only has two phrases for any one activity. A player walks onto the field? "Here comes X." A player does something? "Here's X" or just "X." A pass is made over the middle? "Over the MIDDLE!" He's a boring, stiff, humorless dope.
Borsch loves him.
My stepson was cheering for the result of the coin toss. I don't know what else to say about that.
Because it's a fun part of the game? It's as much a part of football as, say, a pinch hitter is a part of baseball.
A-Rod at the Super Bowl. Well, I guess that could be considered some baseball news.
The heck? I don't spend the World Series eagerly awaiting a one-minute shot of Peyton Manning.
Now that we've had a look at A-Rod, can a shot of somebody feeding Boog Powell hotdogs be far behind?
I had to google Boog Powell to get this reference. He's a baseball player, of course. And he's fat. Therein lies the comedy.
Anytime a commercial can get by with saying the word "rack," well . . . .
Oooh, the word "rack" is so racy! How do they get away with this stuff, right?
I think Cliff Lee probably would have put on a better halftime show.
This is not only the sixth baseball reference, but the second Lee reference. If baseball references were the "joke" of these SuperBowl tweets, I'd say they've worn rather thin by now.
Al Swearingen playing Blackbeard in the next Pirates movie.
Apparently a reference to a character from the HBO show Deadwood whose name is actually Al Swearengen. I've never seen the show, but this is proof that an Internet search engine can spell better than Borsch.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Incredibly Fresh and New Things
Sunday mornings with The Three Stooges. Beautimous.
Truly, a man of many and varied interests.
Talked with Chely Wright today to preview her Sellersville Theater show on Jan. 28. She's a great interview.
Is he on the Sellersville Theater payroll or something? Do any other theaters in the area know the loads of free publicity a newspaper editor gives to one of their competitors? Would he ever admit to having a lame interview?
Truly, a man of many and varied interests.
Talked with Chely Wright today to preview her Sellersville Theater show on Jan. 28. She's a great interview.
Is he on the Sellersville Theater payroll or something? Do any other theaters in the area know the loads of free publicity a newspaper editor gives to one of their competitors? Would he ever admit to having a lame interview?
Saturday, January 8, 2011
2010 - A Year of Lameness in Review
@chrisvisco1 Re: Article on you: Whose the man? Tuesday, January 04, 2011 9:55:04 PM via web in reply to chrisvisco1
Unless this is a joke, that should be "who's the man."
Outta Leftfield: The most interesting interviews of 2010
Published: Tuesday, January 04, 2011
By Mike Morsch
Seeing the title of this article, one might suppose that this is sort of a "Top Ten" list of all the minor celebs and local musicians to whom Morsch has spoken. But seeing the LENGTH of this article, it's obvious that this is practically everyone to whom Morsch has spoken. Not unusual for a man who can't think of a bad thing to say about anyone (except Palin).
On the phone, Olivia Newton-John sounds just like she did in the classic film “Grease.” Joziah Longo, frontman for the band Gandalf Murphy and the Slambovian Circus of Dreams, has a distinctive look and a personality to match. Pete Rose sometimes says one thing during a conversation, but appears to mean something entirely different.
I love that Pete Rose thing - like Morsch is such an ace interviewer he can see into his very soul.
Those are just some of the tidbits of information that didn’t make it into the stories about these people when they visited our area last year. Here is a look at some of the memorable interviews of 2010:
Oh, if only we had gotten that "says something, appears to mean something else" tidbit sooner!
William Quigley and Roger Apollon — These two guys got together — Quigley as owner of the Sellersville Theater 1894 and Apollon as frontman for the band Bigger Thomas, whose parents are both Haitian — and put on a benefit concert to aid relief efforts for the people of Haiti devastated by a January earthquake.
Sellersville Theater! How about a "Most Over-Used Column Topics" post, Morsch?
Several area bands donated their time, and the ST94 staff worked the Sunday evening benefit for free. When the final tallying was done, the effort raised $12,000 for the International Red Cross.
Quigley, Apollon, all those involved and those who attended really came together as a community for a good cause.
So why exactly was this a great interview?
Jane Seymour — Ms. Seymour was back in the area in February exhibiting her art at Wentworth Gallery in the King of Prussia Mall and was more than willing to talk about it.
A celeb willing to promote herself. Imagine that.
It was pretty much the same interview and story as the one I wrote last year when she appeared at the gallery. But one of the founding principles of good journalism is . . . to never pass up an opportunity to interview the really good looking Hollywood stars when they come to our area.
By the way, at age 59, Ms. Seymour looks fabulous, has impeccable taste in clothing and in person is a tiny woman, much smaller than I had expected.
At least Morsch admits that he writes the same crap over and over.
Dr. Ronald Mallett — A renowned physicist, Dr. Mallett was at the Penn State Abington campus to give a lecture about his work with time travel.
It was more physics than it was “Back to the Future” science fiction, but it was interesting and informative, and Dr. Mallett was a good interview.
Care to elaborate on that? No? Cool.
Apparently filmmaker and director Spike Lee is making a movie about Mallett’s childhood desire to build a time machine and travel back in time to warn his father of an impending fatal heart attack. I was hoping to at least make enough of an impression on Dr. Mallett that he would put in a good word with Lee to see if I could get a cameo in the film. As a cynical reporter, of course.
If there's a bumbling retard in Lee's film, we'll know who provided the inspiration.
Ricky Skaggs — Bluegrass isn’t my thing, but there is no denying that country superstar Skaggs is at the forefront these days of making sure this type of music is appreciated and not forgotten.
So basically, "I hate it, but he keeps doing it."
During an interview to preview his February appearance at the Sellersville Theater 1894, the Kentucky-born Skaggs referred to himself as and “old fud.”
I’m not sure what an old fud is in Kentucky, but here in Pennsylvania, it’s likely followed by, “I want you to be vewy, vewy quiet . . . I’m hunting wabbits.”
Elmer Fudd - apparently one of history's famous Pennsylvanians.
Brian Seltzer — The Elkins Park native was named the new play-by-play voice of the Reading Phillies in February.
The cool thing about his story was that his first exposure to a live sporting event was Game 6 of the 1993 National League Championship Series between the Phillies and the Atlanta Braves.
WOW! That's not cool.
In Seltzer’s party that day was a teacher from Myers Elementary School named . . . Mike Schmidt, who still teaches at the school and shares a name with a certain Phillies Hall of Fame third baseman.
WOW! Still not cool.
Nearly 17 years after that day in Veterans Stadium, Seltzer got the job with the Reading Phillies.
As for all the coincidences in that story, I’ll defer to the late Hall of Fame broadcaster Rich Asburn: “Hard to believe, Harry.”
Ha! Are you kidding me? The current Reading Phillies' announcer once attended to a Phillies game and knew a guy with the same name as a Philly player.
Olivia Newton-John — Remember the scene in “Grease” when the John Travolta character unexpectedly sees the Olivia Newton-John character for the first time at Rydell High School? He exclaims, “Sandy?”
That’s what I wanted to say when my office phone rang and the voice on the other end said, “Hello, this is Olivia.”
I grew up on Olivia Newton-John’s music. And when “Grease” came out in 1979, I was 20 years old. I can assure you that I thought then that Ms. Newton-John did more for black stretch pants than anybody has ever done in the history of black stretch pants. (Further viewing of the movie reveals the pants may actually have been Spandex, but whatever they were made of, Olivia Newton-John looked pretty humma-humma in them.)
Disgusting.
She was in the area to do a benefit concert at West Chester University. I got a real kick out of talking to her. During our conversion, I even mentioned how fabulous she looked in those black leather (Spandex) pants, tastefully of course. I’m sure it wasn’t the first time she had heard that, but she giggled at the reference.
I made Olivia Newton-John giggle. That’s just too cool.
I would imagine it was more of a gag than a giggle.
Kathleen Turner — Another one of my favorites from the 1980s, Ms. Turner was in Philadelphia to star in the one-woman stage production of the life of newspaper columnist Molly Ivins.
If you remember Ms. Turner in the 1981 film “Body Heat,’ you know she was hot, hot, hot. Smokin’. Sultry. Sexy. Quite woo-hooable indeed.
We've already had three instances of Morsch lusting after the women he's interviewing. It's even making me uncomfortable.
And that voice. When I mentioned her unique voice during the interview, she said, “Well, it’s not really a girly voice now, is it?”
No ma’am it’s not, but it’s still, well . . . ahem. Is it getting warm in here or is it just me?
Sick!
Candace Bushnell — The “Sex in the City” author was at Penn State Abington for a discussion and book signing. Those of you who are fans of the HBO show and later movies will know that Ms. Bushnell’s alter ego Carrie Bradshaw (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) loves shoes.
And Ms. Bushnell did not disappoint the Penn State Abington crowd with her shoe selection: sparkly, pink, peep-toed six-inch stiletto heels by Christian Louboutin.
At the time I wrote: “They were more pink than ruby, but I’m pretty sure if Ms. Bushnell would have clicked those substantial heels together three times, we would have ended up somewhere in Kansas.”
Why don't you just re-print the entire article? It would be easier than coming up with new material, as you've obviously discovered.
And I’m still not sure who Christian Louboutin is. My guess is that he’s not from Kansas.
There were a few "guy with strange name" jokes in the original column as well.
Jo Dee Messina — Ms. Messina was making a return engagement to the Keswick Theater when I spoke with her in March.
The last time she was at the Keswick, in December 2008, she was in a hissing match with her record label, which wouldn’t release any of her new music. And she wasn’t shy about expressing her considerable displeasure with the record label to a reporter.
This time around, though, some of those differences appeared to have been resolved and Ms. Messina was tickled to be getting some new music to her fans.
This is like a horrible, never-ending deja vu nightmare.
In both interviews I’ve done with her, I have found her to be brutally honest with her answers and her relationship — or lack of one — with her record company.
Jo Dee can be aptly described as “feisty.” And she’s got a wonderfully feisty laugh on the other end of the telephone.
I don't want to know what Morsch was doing on his end of the telephone.
Joziah Longo — The frontman for the band Gandalf Murphy and the Slambovian Circus of Dreams, Longo is one interesting character. And that’s one great name for a band.
The story of how he came up with that name of the band is interesting enough, as I detailed in the story at the time, but add it to what he described as the “trippiness” of his music, and it was clear to see why the band has been described as “hillbilly Pink Floyd.”
One minor quibble - what makes these the "top" interviews of the year? I was expecting some kind of raking system, or a bit of explanation at the very least.
I was at the band’s show at the Sellersville Theater at the beginning of May, and the Slambovians delivered the goods.
Marilyn Hanold — A special guest at this year’s Three Stooges Fan Club convention in Fort Washington, Hanold was in the 1957 Stooges film “Space Ship Sappy” with the boys.
My God - if we can get a "spilling mustard" joke and a Hall and Oates reference in here, we really WILL have a "top Morsch cliches" article.
But also on her resume: She was Playboy’s Playmate of the Month in June 1959; she starred in the 1965 cult classic “Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster,” which some critics have called the worst movie ever made; she appeared in a two-part episode as Liberace’s henchwoman in the campy television series “Batman” in 1966, which became the show’s highest-rated episode during its run; and she dated Elvis Presley in the 1950s.
She said Elvis got a huge kick about the fact that she had appeared in a Three Stooges short film. How could I not want to talk to somebody with that background? At seventysomething years of age, she’s still a head-turner.
Lusting after a 70-something-year-old woman - the Blonde Accountant must have headaches an awful lot, huh?
Kathy Mattea — The best interviews are the ones that end up being conversations, like two people sitting at a kitchen table chatting about life. Of course, when it comes to talking with a reporter, the interview subject will determine just how much of a kitchen table chat that will be.
What? I will pay $5 for someone to tell me what the hell that paragraph means.
Ms. Mattea — one of country music’s big females stars — is down to earth and easy to talk to, intelligent and articulate. Her stage presence and easiness with the crowd seemed perfectly suited for a venue like the Sellersville Theater.
And she spent a lot of time greeting fans after the show, which always impresses me.
No freakin' kidding. He mentions that in every article. IT'S WHAT THEY DO. Get over it. It's like being impressed when a politician shakes your hand. And that's the second Sellersville Theater reference we've had.
Mary Chapin Carpenter — Sticking with the intelligent and articulate conversation theme, Ms. Carpenter was much the same as Ms. Mattea, an easy telephone conversation, although I did botch her name a bit and she called me on it.
I referred to her as “Mary” in my greeting to her, which she promptly corrected. “My first name is Mary Chapin,” she said.
So she's a total bitch, is that what you're saying?
She was back on tour for the first time since recovering from a health scare that nearly took her life a few years ago, and was happy to be back on the road.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to see her August performance at the Keswick Theater in Glenside.
Any day that Morsch actually misses a local concert is one worth noting.
Ashley Gbemudu — The Wyndmoor teen, a recent graduate of Springfield Township High School, was selected to win the “Young Heroes Award” from the National Liberty Museum for being an outstanding role model in her school and community.
Ashley wants to get an undergraduate degree in nursing from Drexel University and then attend medical school, with the ultimate goal of being a pediatric oncologist.
It’s wonderful to talk with talented and ambitious young people who are recognized for their hard work.
I hope Morsch advised her to take time to greet her fans - truly the hallmark of any great person.
Paul Thorn — Not that it was a bad interview, but there was nothing unusual or special about my talk with Americana singer-songwriter Thorn. He did, however, provide what I thought was the greatest stage exit at the end of his show at the Sellersville Theater in August.
I'm thinking Morsch should re-name his column "Outta Sellersville Theater." It would more accurately reflect what he writes about.
Certainly, it was one of those moments where one had to be there to appreciate it. And the emotion and feeling loses something when put into words.
But during the encore song “That’s Life,” Thorn exited off the front of the stage while the band continued to play, hugging and shaking hands with the fans. He continued that through the crowd, up the aisle and into the lobby of the theater, where he stayed to greet fans.
It was the coolest stage exit I had ever seen.
This literally made me laugh. THAT was the coolest stage exit? The guy walked through the crowd and stood in the lobby?
Esai Morales — The popular actor — known for his roles in the 1987 film “La Bamba” as Ritchie Valens’ brother and as Lt. Tony Rodriguez from 2001-2004 on the acclaimed ABC series “NYPD Blue” — was at Penn State Abington in September as part of Hispanic Heritage Month.
As the time, he was on baby watch as he was expecting the birth of his first child at any moment back in Los Angeles. We talked a lot about impending fatherhood, and it was fun to listen to a first-time dad-to-be talk about the range of emotions he was feeling.
"The popular actor" - I'd never heard of this guy before.
Morales charmed the Penn State students and staff, and the baby didn’t arrive until he got back to Los Angeles.
Pete Rose — No matter what opinion one has of Rose as a person or if he belongs in the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame, there’s no denying he is a legend. And how many legends does one get to talk to?
I talked to "The Living Legend" Bruno Sammartino once. So I've got Morsch tied.
Rose was in Philly in October for the premiere of a new documentary on his playing days. The Hall of Fame debate will always be a part of every story on Pete, and he didn’t dodge those questions.
In one 20-minute conversation though, it occurred to me that although Pete likes to talk, he sometimes has trouble articulating his thoughts.
After reading more than a year of your column, sir, I'd direct you to the old proverb about living in a glass house. How dare this stooge accuse someone of not being able to express himself?!?
For example, he told a story about the impact he had on the Phillies 1980 championship team. The story centered on respect the players had for him — coming from those great Cincinnati Reds teams of the mid-1970s — and for each other in the clubhouse and on the field.
Given the context of the conversion and its tone, it could have sounded to some like Pete was actually being arrogant — a claim made often about Pete — and disrespectful to teammates like Greg Luzinski, Bob Boone and Larry Bowa.
I don't think "has trouble articulating" and "being arrogant" are the same thing.
That wasn’t the case at all. It’s just that he had trouble articulating those thoughts in their proper context. Consequently, I had trouble translating the story into the proper context for readers, so I was unable to effectively use the anecdote in my story.
Shut. Up. How many interviews has Pete Rose done? And not just with mediocre local reporters, but big-time national guys? Thousands? Is Morsch really prepared to say that the failure to put "thoughts in their proper context" was Rose's and not his own? What a colossal douche.
A Pittsburgh Pirates fan as a kid, I wasn’t too fond of Pete because he played for the Cincinnati Reds, and the two teams had a pretty good rivalry in the 1970s.
But I shared with him that I still have all my Pete Rose baseball cards from that era, including seven Rose cards from the 1971 set, the year the Pirates won the World Series.
I'm sure nobody has ever told Pete Rose that they actually own one of his baseball cards. And I'm sure Morsch has never told US that he liked the Pirates as a kid. Now, of course, he likes the Phillies. Front-runner.
Terri Clark — The country singer was still emotional about losing her mother to cancer in April when she brought her “Unplugged and Alone” tour to the Sellersville Theater in October. As I had lost my dad to cancer in 2006, we talked at length about those feelings.
Yet ANOTHER Sellersville interview makes the "top" list! Is anyone surprised?
The Sellersville show was filled with Clark’s emotion and she offered those attending an up-close look at those feelings. It made for a highly personal show between artist and audience, something you don’t see very often from the cheap seats.
No new material here. Didn't Morsch promise some kind of interesting new tidbits?
Bill Leahy — The La Salle High School lacrosse coach was inducted into the Montgomery County Coaches Hall of Fame in November.
I never played lacrosse and have only seen one lacrosse match in my life. When I went to the school to interview him for the story, the guy made such a good impression on me that I immediately wanted to pick up a stick, go back to high school, and play on his team, which might have been challenging because the stick I would have picked up would have been a baseball bat.
That is not funny and makes no sense.
I don’t think baseball bats are allowed during lacrosse games, but coach Leahy probably would have figured out a way for me to make it work.
He’s just that good of a coach. But he appears to be an even better human being. And what more can we ask out of those we entrust with our most precious commodity — our children?
The end. Seriously. Not even a little wrap-up paragraph. Other than being the perfect showcase for how lame, repetitive and clueless Morsch's columns are, what's the point of this column? It's not a "top ten." It's not even a "behind the scenes." It's more like a "I don't have a topic and the column is due tomorrow."
Unless this is a joke, that should be "who's the man."
Outta Leftfield: The most interesting interviews of 2010
Published: Tuesday, January 04, 2011
By Mike Morsch
Seeing the title of this article, one might suppose that this is sort of a "Top Ten" list of all the minor celebs and local musicians to whom Morsch has spoken. But seeing the LENGTH of this article, it's obvious that this is practically everyone to whom Morsch has spoken. Not unusual for a man who can't think of a bad thing to say about anyone (except Palin).
On the phone, Olivia Newton-John sounds just like she did in the classic film “Grease.” Joziah Longo, frontman for the band Gandalf Murphy and the Slambovian Circus of Dreams, has a distinctive look and a personality to match. Pete Rose sometimes says one thing during a conversation, but appears to mean something entirely different.
I love that Pete Rose thing - like Morsch is such an ace interviewer he can see into his very soul.
Those are just some of the tidbits of information that didn’t make it into the stories about these people when they visited our area last year. Here is a look at some of the memorable interviews of 2010:
Oh, if only we had gotten that "says something, appears to mean something else" tidbit sooner!
William Quigley and Roger Apollon — These two guys got together — Quigley as owner of the Sellersville Theater 1894 and Apollon as frontman for the band Bigger Thomas, whose parents are both Haitian — and put on a benefit concert to aid relief efforts for the people of Haiti devastated by a January earthquake.
Sellersville Theater! How about a "Most Over-Used Column Topics" post, Morsch?
Several area bands donated their time, and the ST94 staff worked the Sunday evening benefit for free. When the final tallying was done, the effort raised $12,000 for the International Red Cross.
Quigley, Apollon, all those involved and those who attended really came together as a community for a good cause.
So why exactly was this a great interview?
Jane Seymour — Ms. Seymour was back in the area in February exhibiting her art at Wentworth Gallery in the King of Prussia Mall and was more than willing to talk about it.
A celeb willing to promote herself. Imagine that.
It was pretty much the same interview and story as the one I wrote last year when she appeared at the gallery. But one of the founding principles of good journalism is . . . to never pass up an opportunity to interview the really good looking Hollywood stars when they come to our area.
By the way, at age 59, Ms. Seymour looks fabulous, has impeccable taste in clothing and in person is a tiny woman, much smaller than I had expected.
At least Morsch admits that he writes the same crap over and over.
Dr. Ronald Mallett — A renowned physicist, Dr. Mallett was at the Penn State Abington campus to give a lecture about his work with time travel.
It was more physics than it was “Back to the Future” science fiction, but it was interesting and informative, and Dr. Mallett was a good interview.
Care to elaborate on that? No? Cool.
Apparently filmmaker and director Spike Lee is making a movie about Mallett’s childhood desire to build a time machine and travel back in time to warn his father of an impending fatal heart attack. I was hoping to at least make enough of an impression on Dr. Mallett that he would put in a good word with Lee to see if I could get a cameo in the film. As a cynical reporter, of course.
If there's a bumbling retard in Lee's film, we'll know who provided the inspiration.
Ricky Skaggs — Bluegrass isn’t my thing, but there is no denying that country superstar Skaggs is at the forefront these days of making sure this type of music is appreciated and not forgotten.
So basically, "I hate it, but he keeps doing it."
During an interview to preview his February appearance at the Sellersville Theater 1894, the Kentucky-born Skaggs referred to himself as and “old fud.”
I’m not sure what an old fud is in Kentucky, but here in Pennsylvania, it’s likely followed by, “I want you to be vewy, vewy quiet . . . I’m hunting wabbits.”
Elmer Fudd - apparently one of history's famous Pennsylvanians.
Brian Seltzer — The Elkins Park native was named the new play-by-play voice of the Reading Phillies in February.
The cool thing about his story was that his first exposure to a live sporting event was Game 6 of the 1993 National League Championship Series between the Phillies and the Atlanta Braves.
WOW! That's not cool.
In Seltzer’s party that day was a teacher from Myers Elementary School named . . . Mike Schmidt, who still teaches at the school and shares a name with a certain Phillies Hall of Fame third baseman.
WOW! Still not cool.
Nearly 17 years after that day in Veterans Stadium, Seltzer got the job with the Reading Phillies.
As for all the coincidences in that story, I’ll defer to the late Hall of Fame broadcaster Rich Asburn: “Hard to believe, Harry.”
Ha! Are you kidding me? The current Reading Phillies' announcer once attended to a Phillies game and knew a guy with the same name as a Philly player.
Olivia Newton-John — Remember the scene in “Grease” when the John Travolta character unexpectedly sees the Olivia Newton-John character for the first time at Rydell High School? He exclaims, “Sandy?”
That’s what I wanted to say when my office phone rang and the voice on the other end said, “Hello, this is Olivia.”
I grew up on Olivia Newton-John’s music. And when “Grease” came out in 1979, I was 20 years old. I can assure you that I thought then that Ms. Newton-John did more for black stretch pants than anybody has ever done in the history of black stretch pants. (Further viewing of the movie reveals the pants may actually have been Spandex, but whatever they were made of, Olivia Newton-John looked pretty humma-humma in them.)
Disgusting.
She was in the area to do a benefit concert at West Chester University. I got a real kick out of talking to her. During our conversion, I even mentioned how fabulous she looked in those black leather (Spandex) pants, tastefully of course. I’m sure it wasn’t the first time she had heard that, but she giggled at the reference.
I made Olivia Newton-John giggle. That’s just too cool.
I would imagine it was more of a gag than a giggle.
Kathleen Turner — Another one of my favorites from the 1980s, Ms. Turner was in Philadelphia to star in the one-woman stage production of the life of newspaper columnist Molly Ivins.
If you remember Ms. Turner in the 1981 film “Body Heat,’ you know she was hot, hot, hot. Smokin’. Sultry. Sexy. Quite woo-hooable indeed.
We've already had three instances of Morsch lusting after the women he's interviewing. It's even making me uncomfortable.
And that voice. When I mentioned her unique voice during the interview, she said, “Well, it’s not really a girly voice now, is it?”
No ma’am it’s not, but it’s still, well . . . ahem. Is it getting warm in here or is it just me?
Sick!
Candace Bushnell — The “Sex in the City” author was at Penn State Abington for a discussion and book signing. Those of you who are fans of the HBO show and later movies will know that Ms. Bushnell’s alter ego Carrie Bradshaw (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) loves shoes.
And Ms. Bushnell did not disappoint the Penn State Abington crowd with her shoe selection: sparkly, pink, peep-toed six-inch stiletto heels by Christian Louboutin.
At the time I wrote: “They were more pink than ruby, but I’m pretty sure if Ms. Bushnell would have clicked those substantial heels together three times, we would have ended up somewhere in Kansas.”
Why don't you just re-print the entire article? It would be easier than coming up with new material, as you've obviously discovered.
And I’m still not sure who Christian Louboutin is. My guess is that he’s not from Kansas.
There were a few "guy with strange name" jokes in the original column as well.
Jo Dee Messina — Ms. Messina was making a return engagement to the Keswick Theater when I spoke with her in March.
The last time she was at the Keswick, in December 2008, she was in a hissing match with her record label, which wouldn’t release any of her new music. And she wasn’t shy about expressing her considerable displeasure with the record label to a reporter.
This time around, though, some of those differences appeared to have been resolved and Ms. Messina was tickled to be getting some new music to her fans.
This is like a horrible, never-ending deja vu nightmare.
In both interviews I’ve done with her, I have found her to be brutally honest with her answers and her relationship — or lack of one — with her record company.
Jo Dee can be aptly described as “feisty.” And she’s got a wonderfully feisty laugh on the other end of the telephone.
I don't want to know what Morsch was doing on his end of the telephone.
Joziah Longo — The frontman for the band Gandalf Murphy and the Slambovian Circus of Dreams, Longo is one interesting character. And that’s one great name for a band.
The story of how he came up with that name of the band is interesting enough, as I detailed in the story at the time, but add it to what he described as the “trippiness” of his music, and it was clear to see why the band has been described as “hillbilly Pink Floyd.”
One minor quibble - what makes these the "top" interviews of the year? I was expecting some kind of raking system, or a bit of explanation at the very least.
I was at the band’s show at the Sellersville Theater at the beginning of May, and the Slambovians delivered the goods.
Marilyn Hanold — A special guest at this year’s Three Stooges Fan Club convention in Fort Washington, Hanold was in the 1957 Stooges film “Space Ship Sappy” with the boys.
My God - if we can get a "spilling mustard" joke and a Hall and Oates reference in here, we really WILL have a "top Morsch cliches" article.
But also on her resume: She was Playboy’s Playmate of the Month in June 1959; she starred in the 1965 cult classic “Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster,” which some critics have called the worst movie ever made; she appeared in a two-part episode as Liberace’s henchwoman in the campy television series “Batman” in 1966, which became the show’s highest-rated episode during its run; and she dated Elvis Presley in the 1950s.
She said Elvis got a huge kick about the fact that she had appeared in a Three Stooges short film. How could I not want to talk to somebody with that background? At seventysomething years of age, she’s still a head-turner.
Lusting after a 70-something-year-old woman - the Blonde Accountant must have headaches an awful lot, huh?
Kathy Mattea — The best interviews are the ones that end up being conversations, like two people sitting at a kitchen table chatting about life. Of course, when it comes to talking with a reporter, the interview subject will determine just how much of a kitchen table chat that will be.
What? I will pay $5 for someone to tell me what the hell that paragraph means.
Ms. Mattea — one of country music’s big females stars — is down to earth and easy to talk to, intelligent and articulate. Her stage presence and easiness with the crowd seemed perfectly suited for a venue like the Sellersville Theater.
And she spent a lot of time greeting fans after the show, which always impresses me.
No freakin' kidding. He mentions that in every article. IT'S WHAT THEY DO. Get over it. It's like being impressed when a politician shakes your hand. And that's the second Sellersville Theater reference we've had.
Mary Chapin Carpenter — Sticking with the intelligent and articulate conversation theme, Ms. Carpenter was much the same as Ms. Mattea, an easy telephone conversation, although I did botch her name a bit and she called me on it.
I referred to her as “Mary” in my greeting to her, which she promptly corrected. “My first name is Mary Chapin,” she said.
So she's a total bitch, is that what you're saying?
She was back on tour for the first time since recovering from a health scare that nearly took her life a few years ago, and was happy to be back on the road.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to see her August performance at the Keswick Theater in Glenside.
Any day that Morsch actually misses a local concert is one worth noting.
Ashley Gbemudu — The Wyndmoor teen, a recent graduate of Springfield Township High School, was selected to win the “Young Heroes Award” from the National Liberty Museum for being an outstanding role model in her school and community.
Ashley wants to get an undergraduate degree in nursing from Drexel University and then attend medical school, with the ultimate goal of being a pediatric oncologist.
It’s wonderful to talk with talented and ambitious young people who are recognized for their hard work.
I hope Morsch advised her to take time to greet her fans - truly the hallmark of any great person.
Paul Thorn — Not that it was a bad interview, but there was nothing unusual or special about my talk with Americana singer-songwriter Thorn. He did, however, provide what I thought was the greatest stage exit at the end of his show at the Sellersville Theater in August.
I'm thinking Morsch should re-name his column "Outta Sellersville Theater." It would more accurately reflect what he writes about.
Certainly, it was one of those moments where one had to be there to appreciate it. And the emotion and feeling loses something when put into words.
But during the encore song “That’s Life,” Thorn exited off the front of the stage while the band continued to play, hugging and shaking hands with the fans. He continued that through the crowd, up the aisle and into the lobby of the theater, where he stayed to greet fans.
It was the coolest stage exit I had ever seen.
This literally made me laugh. THAT was the coolest stage exit? The guy walked through the crowd and stood in the lobby?
Esai Morales — The popular actor — known for his roles in the 1987 film “La Bamba” as Ritchie Valens’ brother and as Lt. Tony Rodriguez from 2001-2004 on the acclaimed ABC series “NYPD Blue” — was at Penn State Abington in September as part of Hispanic Heritage Month.
As the time, he was on baby watch as he was expecting the birth of his first child at any moment back in Los Angeles. We talked a lot about impending fatherhood, and it was fun to listen to a first-time dad-to-be talk about the range of emotions he was feeling.
"The popular actor" - I'd never heard of this guy before.
Morales charmed the Penn State students and staff, and the baby didn’t arrive until he got back to Los Angeles.
Pete Rose — No matter what opinion one has of Rose as a person or if he belongs in the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame, there’s no denying he is a legend. And how many legends does one get to talk to?
I talked to "The Living Legend" Bruno Sammartino once. So I've got Morsch tied.
Rose was in Philly in October for the premiere of a new documentary on his playing days. The Hall of Fame debate will always be a part of every story on Pete, and he didn’t dodge those questions.
In one 20-minute conversation though, it occurred to me that although Pete likes to talk, he sometimes has trouble articulating his thoughts.
After reading more than a year of your column, sir, I'd direct you to the old proverb about living in a glass house. How dare this stooge accuse someone of not being able to express himself?!?
For example, he told a story about the impact he had on the Phillies 1980 championship team. The story centered on respect the players had for him — coming from those great Cincinnati Reds teams of the mid-1970s — and for each other in the clubhouse and on the field.
Given the context of the conversion and its tone, it could have sounded to some like Pete was actually being arrogant — a claim made often about Pete — and disrespectful to teammates like Greg Luzinski, Bob Boone and Larry Bowa.
I don't think "has trouble articulating" and "being arrogant" are the same thing.
That wasn’t the case at all. It’s just that he had trouble articulating those thoughts in their proper context. Consequently, I had trouble translating the story into the proper context for readers, so I was unable to effectively use the anecdote in my story.
Shut. Up. How many interviews has Pete Rose done? And not just with mediocre local reporters, but big-time national guys? Thousands? Is Morsch really prepared to say that the failure to put "thoughts in their proper context" was Rose's and not his own? What a colossal douche.
A Pittsburgh Pirates fan as a kid, I wasn’t too fond of Pete because he played for the Cincinnati Reds, and the two teams had a pretty good rivalry in the 1970s.
But I shared with him that I still have all my Pete Rose baseball cards from that era, including seven Rose cards from the 1971 set, the year the Pirates won the World Series.
I'm sure nobody has ever told Pete Rose that they actually own one of his baseball cards. And I'm sure Morsch has never told US that he liked the Pirates as a kid. Now, of course, he likes the Phillies. Front-runner.
Terri Clark — The country singer was still emotional about losing her mother to cancer in April when she brought her “Unplugged and Alone” tour to the Sellersville Theater in October. As I had lost my dad to cancer in 2006, we talked at length about those feelings.
Yet ANOTHER Sellersville interview makes the "top" list! Is anyone surprised?
The Sellersville show was filled with Clark’s emotion and she offered those attending an up-close look at those feelings. It made for a highly personal show between artist and audience, something you don’t see very often from the cheap seats.
No new material here. Didn't Morsch promise some kind of interesting new tidbits?
Bill Leahy — The La Salle High School lacrosse coach was inducted into the Montgomery County Coaches Hall of Fame in November.
I never played lacrosse and have only seen one lacrosse match in my life. When I went to the school to interview him for the story, the guy made such a good impression on me that I immediately wanted to pick up a stick, go back to high school, and play on his team, which might have been challenging because the stick I would have picked up would have been a baseball bat.
That is not funny and makes no sense.
I don’t think baseball bats are allowed during lacrosse games, but coach Leahy probably would have figured out a way for me to make it work.
He’s just that good of a coach. But he appears to be an even better human being. And what more can we ask out of those we entrust with our most precious commodity — our children?
The end. Seriously. Not even a little wrap-up paragraph. Other than being the perfect showcase for how lame, repetitive and clueless Morsch's columns are, what's the point of this column? It's not a "top ten." It's not even a "behind the scenes." It's more like a "I don't have a topic and the column is due tomorrow."
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Getting Lee-tarded
Morsch is going out of his mind about Cliff Lee signing with the Phillies. This kind of Twitter explosion hasn't happened since we got Roy Oswalt.
I think Cliff Lee should wear No. 28 next season.
about 11 hours ago via Twitter for Android
... Okay. A gentleman known as MVShaw replied, "Batboy?"
@mvshaw Werth was No. 28
about 11 hours ago via Twitter for Android in reply to mvshaw
Jokes are always funnier when you explain them. Nice that Morsch can go from lamenting Werth's departure in his "Roy-Roy" post to crowing about it here.
So now Kyle Kendrick does what?
about 11 hours ago via Twitter for Android
Probably stays. Even I know that the Phils are shopping "Fat" Joe Blanton.
My tickets are already paid for. Hahahahahahahah!
about 11 hours ago via Twitter for Android
... Okay. Does he think prices going to increase due to Lee being on the team? Like he pulled off an amazing "buy-low" maneuver here or something.
Halladay will give No. 34 back to Lee and just wear a middle finger symbol duct taped to his back.
about 10 hours ago via Twitter for Android
... Okay. Why? Is he notorious for flipping off the fielders playing behind him?
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Doesn't matter who wears No. 34
Here we go! Why settle for a few incomprehensible Twitter posts when you can get an entire "blog item" (as he now calls them) on the subject?
Cliff Lee vacated the Phillies jersey No. 34 when he was dealt to the Seattle Mariners a year ago.
In his place, the Phillies traded for Roy Halladay, who chose to wear No. 34 as well. All he did with that number last season was win 21 games, pitch a regular-season perfect game, a post-season no-hitter and snag the 2010 National League Cy Young Award.
Lee wore #34 once before, with the Indians. The way Morsch portrays himself as a die-hard baseball fanatic, you'd think he would have some interesting trivia on how each pitcher selected his number (e.g. Barry Zito wearing #57 because it creates a "shelf" for his name to sit on). But no - just the facts, ma'am.
The guess here is that Halladay will give Lee back No. 34 and pitch next season with a middle-finger symbol duct taped to the back of his shirt.
If they liked it once, they'll love it twice!
Because after watching Halladay compete for a year, that’s what he thinks about his opponents, how much he cares about winning and how little I suspect he cares about what number is on his back.
Halladay cares so much about winning that he... gives winning the middle finger? Or is Morch trying to say that Halladay expresses his competitive nature and passion for victory via the middle finger? Who does that?
And I think Halladay is too classy and professional a guy to even mentally flip off his opponents.
If you were up late Monday night and engaging in social networking, it was indeed an exciting time to be a Phillies fan.
No, I have a life and a job.
I grew up in Chicago Cubs territory, and believe me the Cubbies have never generated as much interest and excitement as the Phillies did last night, unless of course the late, great Cubs Hall of Fame broadcaster Harry Caray had consumed a case of Budweiser during a ballgame.
Wow, I was sure we would be treated to yet another digression on how he grew up watching the Cubs, but liked the Cardinals, but was really a fan of the Pirates, or some such nonsense.
The Twitter crowd was absolutely out of its collective mind. Rumors started floating through Twitter late in the evening about the Phillies getting Lee and it was equal parts excitement and wariness. Some thought it was just some Twitter shenanigans designed to work the faithful into a lather.
So out of its mind that it declared that it had already paid for its tickets and then laughed maniacally? So out of its mind that it suggested Halladay wear the middle finger on his back, and then wrote a blog post about it?
Then word started filtering in from more official baseball media sources that first the Yankees, and then the Rangers, had been informed that they were out of the running for Lee. And the aforementioned lather became a full-blown eruption.
As hilarious as this story about how Morsch discovered the Lee deal is... when are we going to get to the actual comedic material? Heck, when are we going to get to the POINT?
It was a lot of fun to see the immediate reaction of the Phillies fans on Twitter. I was still reading comments until 2 a.m. It’s a great story.
It's a shame that none of this "great story" found its way into your blog, sir.
And there’s a whiff in the air that general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. may not yet be done wheeling and dealing.
So, um... what happened to the whole "uniform numbers" thing?
Given this stunning set of circumstances, at what point today will the Phillies be forced to cut off season ticket requests?
Ha! Season ticket requests... that slays me. What a great bit! That was a joke, right?
Labels: Mike Morsch, Montgomery Newspapers, Outta Leftfield, Phillies
I think Cliff Lee should wear No. 28 next season.
about 11 hours ago via Twitter for Android
... Okay. A gentleman known as MVShaw replied, "Batboy?"
@mvshaw Werth was No. 28
about 11 hours ago via Twitter for Android in reply to mvshaw
Jokes are always funnier when you explain them. Nice that Morsch can go from lamenting Werth's departure in his "Roy-Roy" post to crowing about it here.
So now Kyle Kendrick does what?
about 11 hours ago via Twitter for Android
Probably stays. Even I know that the Phils are shopping "Fat" Joe Blanton.
My tickets are already paid for. Hahahahahahahah!
about 11 hours ago via Twitter for Android
... Okay. Does he think prices going to increase due to Lee being on the team? Like he pulled off an amazing "buy-low" maneuver here or something.
Halladay will give No. 34 back to Lee and just wear a middle finger symbol duct taped to his back.
about 10 hours ago via Twitter for Android
... Okay. Why? Is he notorious for flipping off the fielders playing behind him?
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Doesn't matter who wears No. 34
Here we go! Why settle for a few incomprehensible Twitter posts when you can get an entire "blog item" (as he now calls them) on the subject?
Cliff Lee vacated the Phillies jersey No. 34 when he was dealt to the Seattle Mariners a year ago.
In his place, the Phillies traded for Roy Halladay, who chose to wear No. 34 as well. All he did with that number last season was win 21 games, pitch a regular-season perfect game, a post-season no-hitter and snag the 2010 National League Cy Young Award.
Lee wore #34 once before, with the Indians. The way Morsch portrays himself as a die-hard baseball fanatic, you'd think he would have some interesting trivia on how each pitcher selected his number (e.g. Barry Zito wearing #57 because it creates a "shelf" for his name to sit on). But no - just the facts, ma'am.
The guess here is that Halladay will give Lee back No. 34 and pitch next season with a middle-finger symbol duct taped to the back of his shirt.
If they liked it once, they'll love it twice!
Because after watching Halladay compete for a year, that’s what he thinks about his opponents, how much he cares about winning and how little I suspect he cares about what number is on his back.
Halladay cares so much about winning that he... gives winning the middle finger? Or is Morch trying to say that Halladay expresses his competitive nature and passion for victory via the middle finger? Who does that?
And I think Halladay is too classy and professional a guy to even mentally flip off his opponents.
If you were up late Monday night and engaging in social networking, it was indeed an exciting time to be a Phillies fan.
No, I have a life and a job.
I grew up in Chicago Cubs territory, and believe me the Cubbies have never generated as much interest and excitement as the Phillies did last night, unless of course the late, great Cubs Hall of Fame broadcaster Harry Caray had consumed a case of Budweiser during a ballgame.
Wow, I was sure we would be treated to yet another digression on how he grew up watching the Cubs, but liked the Cardinals, but was really a fan of the Pirates, or some such nonsense.
The Twitter crowd was absolutely out of its collective mind. Rumors started floating through Twitter late in the evening about the Phillies getting Lee and it was equal parts excitement and wariness. Some thought it was just some Twitter shenanigans designed to work the faithful into a lather.
So out of its mind that it declared that it had already paid for its tickets and then laughed maniacally? So out of its mind that it suggested Halladay wear the middle finger on his back, and then wrote a blog post about it?
Then word started filtering in from more official baseball media sources that first the Yankees, and then the Rangers, had been informed that they were out of the running for Lee. And the aforementioned lather became a full-blown eruption.
As hilarious as this story about how Morsch discovered the Lee deal is... when are we going to get to the actual comedic material? Heck, when are we going to get to the POINT?
It was a lot of fun to see the immediate reaction of the Phillies fans on Twitter. I was still reading comments until 2 a.m. It’s a great story.
It's a shame that none of this "great story" found its way into your blog, sir.
And there’s a whiff in the air that general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. may not yet be done wheeling and dealing.
So, um... what happened to the whole "uniform numbers" thing?
Given this stunning set of circumstances, at what point today will the Phillies be forced to cut off season ticket requests?
Ha! Season ticket requests... that slays me. What a great bit! That was a joke, right?
Labels: Mike Morsch, Montgomery Newspapers, Outta Leftfield, Phillies
Friday, December 3, 2010
Update: He Still Hates Palin
Russia gets 2018 World Cup. Does that mean that Sister Sarah now has a front row seat from her porch?
about 22 hours ago via web
Nothing beats years-old references to out-of-context quotes.
@KeithOlbermann Russia gets 2018 World Cup. Does that mean that Sister Sarah now has a front row seat from her porch?
about 22 hours ago via web in reply to KeithOlbermann
Nothing beats sucking up to a pompous twit who nobody watches.
@billmaher Before you leave Peoria, go to an Italian place called Avanti's and order a "gondola." And bring one back to Philly for me.
about 14 hours ago via web in reply to billmaher
Nothing beats living up to every single stereotype of the modern newspaperman (dumb, hopelessly liberal, and thinking that celebrities are your personal friends).
about 22 hours ago via web
Nothing beats years-old references to out-of-context quotes.
@KeithOlbermann Russia gets 2018 World Cup. Does that mean that Sister Sarah now has a front row seat from her porch?
about 22 hours ago via web in reply to KeithOlbermann
Nothing beats sucking up to a pompous twit who nobody watches.
@billmaher Before you leave Peoria, go to an Italian place called Avanti's and order a "gondola." And bring one back to Philly for me.
about 14 hours ago via web in reply to billmaher
Nothing beats living up to every single stereotype of the modern newspaperman (dumb, hopelessly liberal, and thinking that celebrities are your personal friends).
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Waste of Space
I've never enjoyed car shopping. Today is no different.
9:14 AM Oct 30th via Twitter for Android
The world just lost four words that it will never get back.
9:14 AM Oct 30th via Twitter for Android
The world just lost four words that it will never get back.
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