Happy-happy, Roy-Roy
A column about Roy Halladay? I would protest that it isn't even baseball season, but hey. It's better than yet another entry in the "things men can't do" canon.
I spent the better part of last weekend thinking that I did something to hork off Phillies pitcher Roy Oswalt. Take a look at the photo accompanying this blog item. Does Oswalt look happy to see me? It’s like I told him his dog just died or something.
Roy OSWALT. My mistake. This isn't the first time he's used "hork off," but I wish it was the last.
The hurler was among the many stars that appeared at a big ballcard
"Ballcard"? This is even more ridiculous than "ballglove."
show at Valley Forge Convention Center over the weekend. Among the Phillies who attended were Shane Victorino and Ryan Madsen, along with former Phils’ greats Mike Schmidt, Steve Carlton and Pete Rose.
Were they all kind and gracious? I'll bet they even went so far as to take pictures with fans.
Recently crowned National League Cy Young Award winner Roy Halladay and Cole Hamels were also scheduled to attend in what was billed as an “H2O” event, a nickname given to the Halladay-Hamels-Oswalt starting staff of the Phillies.
Unfortunately, Halladay postponed (and hopefully will be rescheduled in a few weeks) and Hamels canceled his personal appearance but was signing mail-order autographs.
Cole Hamels - not a gracious man.
The Blonde Accountant had purchased me an Oswalt autograph ticket for my birthday, so I was among the throngs of autograph seekers and baseball card treasure hunters on Saturday. (The find of the day was a 1967 card of Pirates Hall of Famer Willie Stargell — my favorite player as a kid — for $5.)
So far our only bit of comedy has been a reference to a dead dog. This isn't exactly the most dynamic entry in the history of "Outta Leftfield."
My time with Oswalt was brief. The whole thing lasted maybe 30 seconds. The only thing I said had to do with a request as to where he would sign my item. I then lumbered around the table on arthritic knees and a balky back to pose for the picture that you see.
He lumbered around on his balky back? I'd like to see how he did that. Roy Oswalt - perhaps only a semi-gracious man.
When I looked at the picture afterwards, I thought, “Hey, I took a shower.” Roy Oswalt doesn’t even know who I am. So why does he have the Sad Sack mug?
Look at the bizarre "smile" on the face of Morsch. I'd be terrified to pose with him too.
Then the news broke Sunday evening that Oswalt’s teammate Jayson Werth had signed a seven-year deal with the Nationals for $126 million. No doubt Oswalt prefers Werth playing behind him in right field and providing run support when Oswalt is on the hill.
Pitchers always appreciate a guy who bats a heafty .186 with runners in scoring position! Read that last sentence again. "Oswalt prefers Werth... when Oswalt is on the hill." Huh? Nice editing, there, skipper. And to whom does he prefer Werth?
So I’m guessing of all the things that could make Roy Oswalt grimace, having his picture taken with me likely doesn’t make the list.
Guess again.
But losing a middle-of-the-lineup teammate to a division rival for a mountain of coin could sour one’s disposition.
That, or maybe his lunch just wasn’t sitting right.
So what was the point of this post? "Oswalt looks unhappy in a picture, maybe because of Jayson Werth. Or maybe he had indigestion." And I'm sure the Phillies will be much more terrified of Werth (27 HR, 85 RBI) than they were of recently departed slugger Adam Dunn (38 HR, 103 RBI).
Finally, look at the picture again. Does anyone else see a bit of a smile at the left corner of Oswalt's mouth? Kind of smug, surely, but not the furious scowl Morsch seems to imagine.
Labels: Mike Morsch, Montgomery Newspapers, Outta Leftfield, Phillies
"Phillies," but not Werth or Oswalt, huh? The worst thing about this column is that someone named "JAJinPA" made the following comment:
LOL! Thanks for the smile today.
Oh JAJinPA... what a life you must lead.
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