Incredible Ignorance

Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Not moonstruck by lunar eclipse

Did you know that "moonstruck" is defined as "mentally deranged, supposedly by the influence of the moon; crazed."? So the topic of the column must surely be how Morsch isn't driven mad by the influence of the eclipse. That, or he didn't bother to figure out what the word meant before he used it.

I just happened to be awake for the total lunar eclipse early Tuesday morning so I thought I’d take a look.

He "just happened" to be up at 2:00 AM? What kind of hours does he keep? There isn't much to note here until he lists his "impressions" of the eclipse:

(1) It’s really cold on my back deck in mid-December.
(2) Rare total lunar eclipses don’t move very quickly at all.
(3) It’s really, really cold on my back deck in mid-December. In fact, it's not fit for witches or brass monkeys.

Ho dee ho ho ho. How typical that he would turn his nose up at such an event. And what's with the "brass monkeys" thing? I can't say I've ever heard that one before.

I snuck out right at 12:30 a.m., looked toward the heavens and saw . . . the moon, doing absolutely nothing. By 12:34 a.m. I was back inside reading some more about what I was supposed to be seeing while I was freezing my patootie off on the back deck.

Four minutes - he's a true marathon man. Again, everyone I talked to yesterday said that it would happen at 2:00 AM, meaning he's an hour and a half early to the party. Is the "comedy" in this post the fact that he's bungling the whole thing?

So I waited until 12:55 a.m., bundled up, went back outside on the back deck, looked up . . . and nothing was still happening, only this time there appeared to be a lot more it.

The ignorance here is reaching truly astounding levels. We're skipping around a bit, because there's truly not much of interest.

By 1:20 a.m., I returned to the deck, looked up, and saw . . . nothing.

Still 40 minutes too early, sir.

Well, the plan worked to perfection. Fortunately, this phenomenon won’t again until Dec. 21, 2094. By then, I will have forgotten this experience and probably fall for the whole thing again.

At no point does he realize the obvious - HE WAS OUT TOO EARLY. There are pictures of it happening later. What a dope.

Labels: Mike Morsch, Montgomery Newspapers, Outta Leftfield