Souderton continues discussion on creating recreation board to oversee pool
Published: Thursday, September 15, 2011
By Emily Morris
Souderton Borough Council continues to mull over the option of creating a recreation board to look at overseeing its parks, and primarily its new pool.
“I think if we’re going to create a recreation board, then we at least have to give it some guidelines as to what this recreation board does,” Souderton Mayor John Reynolds said.
Wow. Such depth! Such... such substance! Why is this man not writing Civics textbooks? I think his talents are being squandered.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
S-F football night all about community
Like every recent entry by Borsch, this post was short and didn't even try to be funny. Here's the concept:
One doesn’t have to like football to enjoy high school football night. That’s because in many towns, it’s about more than just football, it’s about community.
Get it? It's all about community. Let's see some examples of the great community spirit that Borsch experienced at ye olde Spring-Ford High School football game:
I’ve always enjoyed the atmosphere, the band, the cheerleaders, and the mascot. Spring-Ford’s mascot — Rowdy Ram — is particularly entertaining this year, interacting with fans, especially the younger children.
Hold up, son - a mascot that interacts with FANS and CHILDREN??? What a novel concept! This qualifies the Rowdy Ram as a gracious celeb.
And I’ve always loved the band.
"Here's a list of the things I liked: atmosphere, band, cheerleaders, mascot. Also, I liked the band." Borsch then talks about his own high school band and mentions Dan Fogelberg.
...The cheerleaders, of course, also help complete the experience...
Kinda already covered that.
All in all, high school football night is a great way to get a relatively low-cost evening of entertainment. But more importantly, it provides a wonderful sense of community, the benefits of which one can’t put a price on.
Tell me - what "sense of community" did he describe for us? He heard the band, saw a mascot, and watched cheerleaders. You could do all of these things while watching a game on television by yourself. Where was this wonderful atmosphere? What delightful characters did he interact with in the stands? What we have here is Borsch not having any ideas for a column, so he slaps some BS about "community" onto the boring story of his trip to a high school football game. Pulitzer Prize, here he comes!
Did I mention you should go out and see Rowdy Ram? The youngster in the suit is a hoot.
... Okay.
Showing posts with label Souderton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Souderton. Show all posts
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Pool Update: I'm so Right it Hurts
I published a post on May 6, 2010, entitled "Pre-emptive Promise Breaking." Take a gander at these paragraphs from a news story published about the budget for the new Souderton Pool. The original budget was $2 million, with a $500K "emergency" loan (story in bold, my comments in italics):
“It’s our responsibility to not tap into that half million,” [Council President Brian] Goshow said.
Councilman Steven Toy echoed Goshow’s statements, and has no plans to use the money for the pool project unless it is absolutely necessary.
“I don’t hear anybody saying they want to use that money,” Toy said. “It’s contingency. That’s all it is.”
Prediction: Souderton will use the extra $500,000. All of it. If not more. They'll blow through it like a hooker through dope.
I wrote that over a year ago. Now check out this story from The Reporter newspaper, by Emily Morris:
The borough has exhausted its $2 million construction loan for the pool, Coll said, and is on track to be right on budget for the $3 million total projected cost.
Uh-oh... but if the original budget was $2 million...
There is currently $308,000 due to the prime contractors on the project, and Coll said he was filing reports with Univest Bank and Trust Co. this week to use the $500,000 contingency fund to pay those bills.
Gee, what a surprise, right? Shocking! So they ran through the $2 million, they're using the "emergency" $500K to pay off contractors, and they racked up ANOTHER $500,000 BEYOND THAT. I mean, I hate to be one of those people who say "I called it!" but... I pretty much called it.
Also note the fact that the professional journalist who wrote this latest story didn't even bother to look back and call out the political hacks in Souderton for breaking their word.
“It’s our responsibility to not tap into that half million,” [Council President Brian] Goshow said.
Councilman Steven Toy echoed Goshow’s statements, and has no plans to use the money for the pool project unless it is absolutely necessary.
“I don’t hear anybody saying they want to use that money,” Toy said. “It’s contingency. That’s all it is.”
Prediction: Souderton will use the extra $500,000. All of it. If not more. They'll blow through it like a hooker through dope.
I wrote that over a year ago. Now check out this story from The Reporter newspaper, by Emily Morris:
The borough has exhausted its $2 million construction loan for the pool, Coll said, and is on track to be right on budget for the $3 million total projected cost.
Uh-oh... but if the original budget was $2 million...
There is currently $308,000 due to the prime contractors on the project, and Coll said he was filing reports with Univest Bank and Trust Co. this week to use the $500,000 contingency fund to pay those bills.
Gee, what a surprise, right? Shocking! So they ran through the $2 million, they're using the "emergency" $500K to pay off contractors, and they racked up ANOTHER $500,000 BEYOND THAT. I mean, I hate to be one of those people who say "I called it!" but... I pretty much called it.
Also note the fact that the professional journalist who wrote this latest story didn't even bother to look back and call out the political hacks in Souderton for breaking their word.
Friday, June 17, 2011
The Pool Saga Continues
Souderton pool set for Monday, June 20 opening
Published: Friday, June 17, 2011
By Emily Morris
Managing Editor
Are we sure this time?
“We’re hoping by 2 p.m. on Monday to have the gates open,” Borough Manager Michael Coll reported to Souderton Borough Council...
"Hoping"? I would "hope" that you'd know for sure less than three days away.
While the borough hopes to have the competition pool ready for opening day...
There's that word again. How are they not certain?
In response to concerns about the pool’s late opening, the borough has decided to extend the discounted early membership purchase period through July 31. For a family membership with two adults, Souderton Borough residents or full YMCA members, that would be a cost of $275 for the season, plus $5 per dependent, rather than $290.
WOW! A $15 discount! Keep in mind, this pool should have been opened on May 30 - 22 days late (and counting).
In response to an article in last week’s paper where a resident told the Independent she and some neighbors felt the cost for pool memberships was too high, council members noted the new pool had to meet certain requirements including zero depth entry, and the filtration system on the old pool failed.
Um... the cost of the pool is STILL too high. See my "Hero of the Week" entry regarding this totally awesome resident.
Councilman Jeff Gross noted that if residents prefer a pool with fewer amenities that might have cheaper membership rates, they are able to join that type of pool.
“Our prices are based on the facility that we have here in Souderton,” Gross said.
Ah, Souderton arrogance at its finest! "If you don't like our pool, you're welcome to join a crappier one elsewhere." The point is, this pool is TOO EXPENSIVE FOR SOUDERTON. PEOPLE DON'T MAKE ENOUGH. And Mr. Gross, before you start banishing potential members to other pools, you should really make sure this pool doesn't turn into a massive debt-creating millstone around your gaily bearded neck.
The borough has a $500,000 contingency available from Univest if it meets certain needs, and Coll said the borough will likely have to use some part of that money when all is said and done.
BINGO! Here's what I wrote over a year ago: Now apparently, Council plans to use that extra $500,000 as an "emergency" fund in case costs go over estimate (which they inevitably will). "It's our responsibility to not tap into that half million," said Council Prez Brian Goshow at the time.
Somebody might want to remind him of that "responsibility" now that he's failed at it.
Goshow said the borough also has to transition to the experience level of running the new pool.
“We’re in year one now,” Goshow said. “Our previous experience was in year 55, 56, 57.”
Ah, so for the first 40 or 50 years, their failure to make a profit on this boondoggle will be because they haven't "transitioned" to the "experience level" of running this pool (which is totally different from the old pool... how?).
Council members also questioned whether there might be any ability to negotiate with the pool contractors because the pool was not completed for a May 30 opening as originally planned...
Gross noted there could be an argument that some projects were held up for the contractors until the borough crew completed its portion, but that goes both ways.
So in other words, don't expect much back because it was probably Souderton's fault to begin with.
Goshow said he spoke with Wayne Wade of Wade Associates, pool designer and consultant, who noted a pool similar to Souderton’s had earned $11,000 on Memorial Day weekend.
“The reality is not being open is costing us severely,” Goshow said.
HA! I'm loving this! They blew 2 million bucks on this new pool, they'll have to use some (or all) of a 500k emergency fund, nobody is joining, AND they're losing money because they're opening so late. Way to go!
Residents of Souderton - fire all of these idiots.
Published: Friday, June 17, 2011
By Emily Morris
Managing Editor
Are we sure this time?
“We’re hoping by 2 p.m. on Monday to have the gates open,” Borough Manager Michael Coll reported to Souderton Borough Council...
"Hoping"? I would "hope" that you'd know for sure less than three days away.
While the borough hopes to have the competition pool ready for opening day...
There's that word again. How are they not certain?
In response to concerns about the pool’s late opening, the borough has decided to extend the discounted early membership purchase period through July 31. For a family membership with two adults, Souderton Borough residents or full YMCA members, that would be a cost of $275 for the season, plus $5 per dependent, rather than $290.
WOW! A $15 discount! Keep in mind, this pool should have been opened on May 30 - 22 days late (and counting).
In response to an article in last week’s paper where a resident told the Independent she and some neighbors felt the cost for pool memberships was too high, council members noted the new pool had to meet certain requirements including zero depth entry, and the filtration system on the old pool failed.
Um... the cost of the pool is STILL too high. See my "Hero of the Week" entry regarding this totally awesome resident.
Councilman Jeff Gross noted that if residents prefer a pool with fewer amenities that might have cheaper membership rates, they are able to join that type of pool.
“Our prices are based on the facility that we have here in Souderton,” Gross said.
Ah, Souderton arrogance at its finest! "If you don't like our pool, you're welcome to join a crappier one elsewhere." The point is, this pool is TOO EXPENSIVE FOR SOUDERTON. PEOPLE DON'T MAKE ENOUGH. And Mr. Gross, before you start banishing potential members to other pools, you should really make sure this pool doesn't turn into a massive debt-creating millstone around your gaily bearded neck.
The borough has a $500,000 contingency available from Univest if it meets certain needs, and Coll said the borough will likely have to use some part of that money when all is said and done.
BINGO! Here's what I wrote over a year ago: Now apparently, Council plans to use that extra $500,000 as an "emergency" fund in case costs go over estimate (which they inevitably will). "It's our responsibility to not tap into that half million," said Council Prez Brian Goshow at the time.
Somebody might want to remind him of that "responsibility" now that he's failed at it.
Goshow said the borough also has to transition to the experience level of running the new pool.
“We’re in year one now,” Goshow said. “Our previous experience was in year 55, 56, 57.”
Ah, so for the first 40 or 50 years, their failure to make a profit on this boondoggle will be because they haven't "transitioned" to the "experience level" of running this pool (which is totally different from the old pool... how?).
Council members also questioned whether there might be any ability to negotiate with the pool contractors because the pool was not completed for a May 30 opening as originally planned...
Gross noted there could be an argument that some projects were held up for the contractors until the borough crew completed its portion, but that goes both ways.
So in other words, don't expect much back because it was probably Souderton's fault to begin with.
Goshow said he spoke with Wayne Wade of Wade Associates, pool designer and consultant, who noted a pool similar to Souderton’s had earned $11,000 on Memorial Day weekend.
“The reality is not being open is costing us severely,” Goshow said.
HA! I'm loving this! They blew 2 million bucks on this new pool, they'll have to use some (or all) of a 500k emergency fund, nobody is joining, AND they're losing money because they're opening so late. Way to go!
Residents of Souderton - fire all of these idiots.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Hero of the Week: Lauren Hagelgans
Souderton resident questions pool membership cost
Published: Friday, June 10, 2011
By Erin DuBois
Associate Editor
The saga continues, folks!
Temperatures are not the only thing on the rise in Souderton. Some borough residents say the rising cost of pool membership may keep them from beating the heat this summer.
“The prices have skyrocketed from what they were,” said Lauren Hagelgans. “I understand that they put $3 million into the pool, but we didn’t ask them to. We didn’t get raises.”
Ms. Hagelgans is awesome. As she states, in 2009 a single-parent family membership was $130; this year's cost will be $250 through June 30, $265 after, and an extra $5 per child. The increases at every level are fairly massive.
But according to Souderton Borough Manager P. Michael Coll, comparing prices with other local aquatic centers provides a more fair comparison...
“You simply can’t compare the rate to what we were charging in 2009,” Coll said.
Of course not - because comparing it to 2009 makes it look really, really bad. So he comparies it to pools in Hatfield and Perkasie, which are slightly more expensive. Here are some figures Coll fails to mention (from Wikipedia):
Souderton Avg. Income - $47,437 (Household), $57,200 (Family)
Perkasie Avg. Income - $52,000 (Household), $57,247 (Family)
Hatfield Avg. Income - $57,247 (Household), $68,409 (Family)
So can you really compare those rates, either? What a dope.
"It’s really not the same and the community is not the same,” Hagelgans said of comparing Souderton to other municipalities. “I’m not saying we’re low income but we’re certainly not high income families.”
God bless you, Ms. Hagelgans. Stick it to them! Stick it to them good! Just destroyed his entire argument.
“We keep venting and nothing happens,” Hagelgans said.
"Keep venting and nothing happens" is Borough Council's motto.
Souderton’s rates reflect the investment the borough put into the pool, Coll said. Borough council voted 5-4 in favor of the project when it was faced with the decision of eliminating swimming because of the condition of the old pool.
“There was quite a lot of debate to move this project forward,” Coll said.
I don't see how the fact that it was a close vote makes it any easier to eat an extra $100 a year.
The donations will help soften the debt service but the borough will still need to kick in some additional money from the general fund, Coll said.
Well well, what a surprise! Souderton takes on debt it can't handle.
A cold winter and rainy spring pushed back the scheduled Memorial Day opening to June 20, but some construction will occur after the pool opens.
...
“Safety is certainly a concern,” Coll said. “If we can’t get the permits and don’t feel it’s a safe environment, we certainly won’t be able to open.”
What happened to the "confidence" we had that the pool would open on time? Sounds like someone is hedging awfully hard...
More likely, however, the leisure pool would open with the competition pool lagging behind a few days, Coll said.
Some amenities like deck furniture and picnic tables may be missing until a little later in the season...
Be honest - this is going to be a disaster, isn't it? Sounds like someone (a Borough Manager, perhaps) should have managed things a little bit better.
Hagelgans, however, said that she is left with the option of not swimming, the same option she had before the borough decided to refurbish the pool.
“I’ve lived in Souderton six years and this doesn’t make me want to stay here,” Hagelgans said. “I don’t think this $3 million pool is going to attract people to move to the borough.”
BINGO. Ms. Hagelgans, you should run for Mayor. Or Council. Or, heck, put in an application for Borough Manager! You've got more brains than any of them. This woman is a champion, and Souderton needs more like her or they're going to lose EVERYONE like her. Lauren Hagelgans, wherever you are, you are our first (and probably only) ever Hero of the Week.
Published: Friday, June 10, 2011
By Erin DuBois
Associate Editor
The saga continues, folks!
Temperatures are not the only thing on the rise in Souderton. Some borough residents say the rising cost of pool membership may keep them from beating the heat this summer.
“The prices have skyrocketed from what they were,” said Lauren Hagelgans. “I understand that they put $3 million into the pool, but we didn’t ask them to. We didn’t get raises.”
Ms. Hagelgans is awesome. As she states, in 2009 a single-parent family membership was $130; this year's cost will be $250 through June 30, $265 after, and an extra $5 per child. The increases at every level are fairly massive.
But according to Souderton Borough Manager P. Michael Coll, comparing prices with other local aquatic centers provides a more fair comparison...
“You simply can’t compare the rate to what we were charging in 2009,” Coll said.
Of course not - because comparing it to 2009 makes it look really, really bad. So he comparies it to pools in Hatfield and Perkasie, which are slightly more expensive. Here are some figures Coll fails to mention (from Wikipedia):
Souderton Avg. Income - $47,437 (Household), $57,200 (Family)
Perkasie Avg. Income - $52,000 (Household), $57,247 (Family)
Hatfield Avg. Income - $57,247 (Household), $68,409 (Family)
So can you really compare those rates, either? What a dope.
"It’s really not the same and the community is not the same,” Hagelgans said of comparing Souderton to other municipalities. “I’m not saying we’re low income but we’re certainly not high income families.”
God bless you, Ms. Hagelgans. Stick it to them! Stick it to them good! Just destroyed his entire argument.
“We keep venting and nothing happens,” Hagelgans said.
"Keep venting and nothing happens" is Borough Council's motto.
Souderton’s rates reflect the investment the borough put into the pool, Coll said. Borough council voted 5-4 in favor of the project when it was faced with the decision of eliminating swimming because of the condition of the old pool.
“There was quite a lot of debate to move this project forward,” Coll said.
I don't see how the fact that it was a close vote makes it any easier to eat an extra $100 a year.
The donations will help soften the debt service but the borough will still need to kick in some additional money from the general fund, Coll said.
Well well, what a surprise! Souderton takes on debt it can't handle.
A cold winter and rainy spring pushed back the scheduled Memorial Day opening to June 20, but some construction will occur after the pool opens.
...
“Safety is certainly a concern,” Coll said. “If we can’t get the permits and don’t feel it’s a safe environment, we certainly won’t be able to open.”
What happened to the "confidence" we had that the pool would open on time? Sounds like someone is hedging awfully hard...
More likely, however, the leisure pool would open with the competition pool lagging behind a few days, Coll said.
Some amenities like deck furniture and picnic tables may be missing until a little later in the season...
Be honest - this is going to be a disaster, isn't it? Sounds like someone (a Borough Manager, perhaps) should have managed things a little bit better.
Hagelgans, however, said that she is left with the option of not swimming, the same option she had before the borough decided to refurbish the pool.
“I’ve lived in Souderton six years and this doesn’t make me want to stay here,” Hagelgans said. “I don’t think this $3 million pool is going to attract people to move to the borough.”
BINGO. Ms. Hagelgans, you should run for Mayor. Or Council. Or, heck, put in an application for Borough Manager! You've got more brains than any of them. This woman is a champion, and Souderton needs more like her or they're going to lose EVERYONE like her. Lauren Hagelgans, wherever you are, you are our first (and probably only) ever Hero of the Week.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Totally Unsurprising News
Construction delays push back opening of Souderton pool
Published: Sunday, May 15, 2011
By Emily Morris, For The Reporter
This is an old story, and because I'm a fair-minded fellow, I didn't point out the latest stumble in the "new pool" fiasco in Souderton. But now... well, continue reading, won't you?
Councilman Jeff Gross said he also wanted it stressed that “shoddy tile work” would not be acceptable if that aspect of the project is delayed until last minute.
Oh, heavens! "Shoddy" tile work! This should definitely be the primary concern. I often select my pool due to the quality of its tile work.
“The reality is school’s still going to be in session until June 20,” [Borough Manager Mike] Coll said.
Oh, so it's okay then. Never mind that this pool, as the Mayor said, will give the "dreams of hope" to "thousands of people of Indian Valley." It can wait, no big.
Souderton pool opening delayed again to June 20
Published: Friday, May 20, 2011
By Emily Morris & Erin DuBois
Staff Writers
This comes as a surprise to no one. What a difference five days can make! Now the reason is "bad weather," but staff is "very comfortable" with the new date. I certainly believe them.
People have been hesitant to buy a membership until they know definitely when the pool will open, Coll said. Extending the discount period “takes the confusion” out of purchasing a membership. “It gives a comfort level because there is no real rush to buy,” Coll said.
So the thinking here is that people are not buying memberships because they feel "rushed." Therefore, delaying the opening of the pool... will actually COMFORT people... into buying! Seriously. This is how the people running Souderton think.
While [membership sales] aren’t selling as well as Coll said he would like, he expects they will pick up toward the end of the month and as the weather gets warmer.
But I thought people weren't buying because there was such a rush to buy! Here's a suggestion: people aren't buying memberships because, by the time the pool finally opens, they'll only be able to use it for, like, four weeks.
“Changes are happening so quickly now,” Councilman Jeff Gross said, encouraging council and residents to keep an eye on progress.
In fact the only change NOT happening quickly is the pool changing from "closed" to "open." If only we could go back to the days when this story was published:
Souderton pool should be 'operational' for May 30 opening
Published: Thursday, April 21, 2011
Seems like the delays are the changes that happen most quickly, eh?
Published: Sunday, May 15, 2011
By Emily Morris, For The Reporter
This is an old story, and because I'm a fair-minded fellow, I didn't point out the latest stumble in the "new pool" fiasco in Souderton. But now... well, continue reading, won't you?
Councilman Jeff Gross said he also wanted it stressed that “shoddy tile work” would not be acceptable if that aspect of the project is delayed until last minute.
Oh, heavens! "Shoddy" tile work! This should definitely be the primary concern. I often select my pool due to the quality of its tile work.
“The reality is school’s still going to be in session until June 20,” [Borough Manager Mike] Coll said.
Oh, so it's okay then. Never mind that this pool, as the Mayor said, will give the "dreams of hope" to "thousands of people of Indian Valley." It can wait, no big.
Souderton pool opening delayed again to June 20
Published: Friday, May 20, 2011
By Emily Morris & Erin DuBois
Staff Writers
This comes as a surprise to no one. What a difference five days can make! Now the reason is "bad weather," but staff is "very comfortable" with the new date. I certainly believe them.
People have been hesitant to buy a membership until they know definitely when the pool will open, Coll said. Extending the discount period “takes the confusion” out of purchasing a membership. “It gives a comfort level because there is no real rush to buy,” Coll said.
So the thinking here is that people are not buying memberships because they feel "rushed." Therefore, delaying the opening of the pool... will actually COMFORT people... into buying! Seriously. This is how the people running Souderton think.
While [membership sales] aren’t selling as well as Coll said he would like, he expects they will pick up toward the end of the month and as the weather gets warmer.
But I thought people weren't buying because there was such a rush to buy! Here's a suggestion: people aren't buying memberships because, by the time the pool finally opens, they'll only be able to use it for, like, four weeks.
“Changes are happening so quickly now,” Councilman Jeff Gross said, encouraging council and residents to keep an eye on progress.
In fact the only change NOT happening quickly is the pool changing from "closed" to "open." If only we could go back to the days when this story was published:
Souderton pool should be 'operational' for May 30 opening
Published: Thursday, April 21, 2011
Seems like the delays are the changes that happen most quickly, eh?
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Not So Well Played, Mr. Mayor
Are we attracting some real .90-caliber pezzonovante here at Inta Rightfield? Could we have garnered the attention of the very subject of a recent posting? Regarding my gentle ribbing of a letter apparently proofread by Helen Keller:
If you are going grade this, then you should make sure you know what you're doing. (1) Consistency in your punctuation. You have a semicolon in the fourth paragraph right before you start your list of three. Then a period before you start you next list of three in the same parapgraph. Which is it. Or should both be colons?
One word: "parapgraph." Note to everyone: private Internet blogs are now subject to the same stringent criteria as published fund-raising letters.
(2) The committee is an "it," not a "they."
Did "the committee" write the letter? Or did the two gentleman who signed their names to it?
You made that mistake twice in the same sentence. Then you made it again three paragraphs later. Then again five paragraphs after that. At least you're consistent.
I'm consistently referring to the authors of the letter, so yes, I suppose I am.
(3) The 1960's is not possessive. It should be 1960s, but you knew that. (4) The question mark after "drawing card" goes inside the quote marks.
Or does it? Good thing I can make mistakes like this and not feel embarrassed that all the people who voted for me will be reading it and snickering at my idiocy. How does that feel, by the way?
Certainly your teachers in Souderton taught you better? Guess this is what happens when you work for daddy's company.
By Anonymous on Monkeys could do Better on 4/10/11
Oh, Anonymous! If only YOU had been there when the letter was being written! You'd have proofread it! Right?
Let's do a little exercise, shall we? What's worse - four questionable mistakes in a blog post it took me 10 minutes to write, or the ocean of errors contained in the intellectual diarrhea stain of a letter that everyone in town received? What's worse - me, humble little Internet blogger, missing a few fine points, or the mayor of a town not being able to write simple English sentences?
I like the "daddy's company" comment. I guess I must be one of those famous Souderton-educated blue-bloods! The CEO of my company is a black guy, and he's certainly not my dad... unless Mom isn't telling me something...
I look forward to future comments in which Mr./Mrs. Anonymous actually addresses my critique of the letter in question.
If you are going grade this, then you should make sure you know what you're doing. (1) Consistency in your punctuation. You have a semicolon in the fourth paragraph right before you start your list of three. Then a period before you start you next list of three in the same parapgraph. Which is it. Or should both be colons?
One word: "parapgraph." Note to everyone: private Internet blogs are now subject to the same stringent criteria as published fund-raising letters.
(2) The committee is an "it," not a "they."
Did "the committee" write the letter? Or did the two gentleman who signed their names to it?
You made that mistake twice in the same sentence. Then you made it again three paragraphs later. Then again five paragraphs after that. At least you're consistent.
I'm consistently referring to the authors of the letter, so yes, I suppose I am.
(3) The 1960's is not possessive. It should be 1960s, but you knew that. (4) The question mark after "drawing card" goes inside the quote marks.
Or does it? Good thing I can make mistakes like this and not feel embarrassed that all the people who voted for me will be reading it and snickering at my idiocy. How does that feel, by the way?
Certainly your teachers in Souderton taught you better? Guess this is what happens when you work for daddy's company.
By Anonymous on Monkeys could do Better on 4/10/11
Oh, Anonymous! If only YOU had been there when the letter was being written! You'd have proofread it! Right?
Let's do a little exercise, shall we? What's worse - four questionable mistakes in a blog post it took me 10 minutes to write, or the ocean of errors contained in the intellectual diarrhea stain of a letter that everyone in town received? What's worse - me, humble little Internet blogger, missing a few fine points, or the mayor of a town not being able to write simple English sentences?
I like the "daddy's company" comment. I guess I must be one of those famous Souderton-educated blue-bloods! The CEO of my company is a black guy, and he's certainly not my dad... unless Mom isn't telling me something...
I look forward to future comments in which Mr./Mrs. Anonymous actually addresses my critique of the letter in question.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Monkeys could do Better
My parents received a letter in the mail. It was so bad that Mike Morsch could have done a better job. Some highlights are below.
Dear Friends and Neighbors of Souderton Community Pool,
Neighbors of the Pool? So this is only going to people who live right next to it? I see what they're going for - "Friends and Neighbors" - but honestly...
The response was outstanding...in a poor economy and in a small town; many steps were achieved together as a team in unison.
Terrible, terrible use of a semicolon. How redundant is that last part? "We did things together all at once simultaneously!"
The next step of this campaign is focused on raising the rest of the money to reach the ultimate goal necessary to open the newly renovated pool by Memorial Day, 2011.
Ouch. Tortured. One would think that raising the money IS the ultimate goal; 1.) raise money, 2.) open pool. But the way the sentence is written, it sounds like there's a hidden mystery step somewhere. 1.) Raise money, 2.) Reach ultimate goal, 3.) Open pool.
The committee is looking for other financial help, but we also hope to receive more financial support from community individuals and local organizations like you - it is that simple!
Wow! What? They're basically saying (poorly): "We want money - that's it!" Here are a few of the features they advertise:
Toddler Pool with raindrops of fun - ... Why "raindrops of fun"? That makes no sense. Nothing - not even fun - is measured in raindrops.
Giant Super Slide - Ooh, Super Fun Happy Slide!
Deeper Diving Well - This does not need to be capitalized - especially since a few points later, they write "Community room." Sloppy.
Enlarged Gals & Guys locker rooms - "Gals"? Are we 1960's youths all of a sudden? What happened to "Mens' and Womens'"?
Souderton's history has grown a hundred-fold since its early charter in 1887
This is laughably bad. Our history has grown a hundred-fold? That's a little slow, considering 1887 was 124 years ago. We're almost a quarter century behind! Or do they mean the town has grown a hundred-fold?
and the borough's success
So just to keep a consistent style - "Deeper Diving Well" is capitalized, "borough" is not. Atrocious.
cannot stop because of lack of pool funding...our community and especially, our kids, families, and seniors need a summertime pool for recreational and competitive swimming.
This is hilariously terrible. "Our community, and especially every single group that makes up the community, needs this!" Also, it should be "Our community... needs," NOT "Our community...need." The comma should come after "community," not "especially." Dear goodness.
In addition, a community pool makes an exciting drawing card to families looking to move into the Souderton area.
This is like watching a toddler try to talk. You know what they're trying to say even if they just can't find the words. A "drawing card"?
Fundraiding chair, Jeff Gross at 215.450.0950 would be happy to speak to you as well as Mike Coll, Souderton Borough manager, about the progress of the pool or giving opportunities. Mike's contact phone number is 215.723.4371.
Who wrote this??? A 9th-grader could put together a more cogent sentence.
How it's written: Jeff Gross will speak with you and Mike Coll about the pool.
What they meant: Jeff Gross or Mike Coll will speak with you about the pool.
The comma after "chair" makes no sense. "Contact phone number"? That's like saying "home location address."
Swimming is a lifetime sport for all ages!
Baseball is an American sport for all Americans!
Please send a gift today of whatever you can afford to bring the dreams of hope to thousands of people of Indian Valley...children, teenages, adults and seniors alike.
Yes, that's right: "thousands of people of Indian Valley." Is the person who wrote this an utter retard? Did they proofread? How ridiculously dramatic is it to suggest that you will bring "dreams of hope" to "thousands" with a donation? Ah yes, the "dream of hope" of all people - a pool with a Giant Super Slide!
With many thanks, John R. Reynolds, Mayor of Souderton
Well, that answers a lot of my questions. Congrats, Souderton! You must be glad to know you're represented by such an intellectual heavyweight.
Dear Friends and Neighbors of Souderton Community Pool,
Neighbors of the Pool? So this is only going to people who live right next to it? I see what they're going for - "Friends and Neighbors" - but honestly...
The response was outstanding...in a poor economy and in a small town; many steps were achieved together as a team in unison.
Terrible, terrible use of a semicolon. How redundant is that last part? "We did things together all at once simultaneously!"
The next step of this campaign is focused on raising the rest of the money to reach the ultimate goal necessary to open the newly renovated pool by Memorial Day, 2011.
Ouch. Tortured. One would think that raising the money IS the ultimate goal; 1.) raise money, 2.) open pool. But the way the sentence is written, it sounds like there's a hidden mystery step somewhere. 1.) Raise money, 2.) Reach ultimate goal, 3.) Open pool.
The committee is looking for other financial help, but we also hope to receive more financial support from community individuals and local organizations like you - it is that simple!
Wow! What? They're basically saying (poorly): "We want money - that's it!" Here are a few of the features they advertise:
Toddler Pool with raindrops of fun - ... Why "raindrops of fun"? That makes no sense. Nothing - not even fun - is measured in raindrops.
Giant Super Slide - Ooh, Super Fun Happy Slide!
Deeper Diving Well - This does not need to be capitalized - especially since a few points later, they write "Community room." Sloppy.
Enlarged Gals & Guys locker rooms - "Gals"? Are we 1960's youths all of a sudden? What happened to "Mens' and Womens'"?
Souderton's history has grown a hundred-fold since its early charter in 1887
This is laughably bad. Our history has grown a hundred-fold? That's a little slow, considering 1887 was 124 years ago. We're almost a quarter century behind! Or do they mean the town has grown a hundred-fold?
and the borough's success
So just to keep a consistent style - "Deeper Diving Well" is capitalized, "borough" is not. Atrocious.
cannot stop because of lack of pool funding...our community and especially, our kids, families, and seniors need a summertime pool for recreational and competitive swimming.
This is hilariously terrible. "Our community, and especially every single group that makes up the community, needs this!" Also, it should be "Our community... needs," NOT "Our community...need." The comma should come after "community," not "especially." Dear goodness.
In addition, a community pool makes an exciting drawing card to families looking to move into the Souderton area.
This is like watching a toddler try to talk. You know what they're trying to say even if they just can't find the words. A "drawing card"?
Fundraiding chair, Jeff Gross at 215.450.0950 would be happy to speak to you as well as Mike Coll, Souderton Borough manager, about the progress of the pool or giving opportunities. Mike's contact phone number is 215.723.4371.
Who wrote this??? A 9th-grader could put together a more cogent sentence.
How it's written: Jeff Gross will speak with you and Mike Coll about the pool.
What they meant: Jeff Gross or Mike Coll will speak with you about the pool.
The comma after "chair" makes no sense. "Contact phone number"? That's like saying "home location address."
Swimming is a lifetime sport for all ages!
Baseball is an American sport for all Americans!
Please send a gift today of whatever you can afford to bring the dreams of hope to thousands of people of Indian Valley...children, teenages, adults and seniors alike.
Yes, that's right: "thousands of people of Indian Valley." Is the person who wrote this an utter retard? Did they proofread? How ridiculously dramatic is it to suggest that you will bring "dreams of hope" to "thousands" with a donation? Ah yes, the "dream of hope" of all people - a pool with a Giant Super Slide!
With many thanks, John R. Reynolds, Mayor of Souderton
Well, that answers a lot of my questions. Congrats, Souderton! You must be glad to know you're represented by such an intellectual heavyweight.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
"Revitalization" Through Subtraction
Surprisingly - nay, shockingly - Mike Morsch posted a useful link on his Twitter:
Soap box rally race to move to Perkasie
Yet another victory for Souderton's roaring revitalization efforts - losing an event that has made its home in town for 25 years. Why? "In previous years, Souderton hosted a Keystone Rally race on Second Street, but deterioration of the street’s condition prompted IVSBA board members to consider moving the race..."
Keep on truckin', Souderton. Keep on truckin'.
Soap box rally race to move to Perkasie
Yet another victory for Souderton's roaring revitalization efforts - losing an event that has made its home in town for 25 years. Why? "In previous years, Souderton hosted a Keystone Rally race on Second Street, but deterioration of the street’s condition prompted IVSBA board members to consider moving the race..."
Keep on truckin', Souderton. Keep on truckin'.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Pre-emptive Promise Breaking
Souderton, my home town, is run by greedy, lying incompetents. Witness an item published on the Independent:
Souderton approves $2.5 million pool loan
The loan size was increased from the originally proposed $2 million
Of course. Borough Council never met a debt it didn't want to increase. Now apparently, Council plans to use that extra $500,000 as an "emergency" fund in case costs go over estimate (which they inevitably will).
“It’s our responsibility to not tap into that half million,” [Council President Brian] Goshow said.
Councilman Steven Toy echoed Goshow’s statements, and has no plans to use the money for the pool project unless it is absolutely necessary.
“I don’t hear anybody saying they want to use that money,” Toy said. “It’s contingency. That’s all it is.”
Prediction: Souderton will use the extra $500,000. All of it. If not more. They'll blow through it like a hooker through dope.
The only other item of interest in the article is the resignation of smug douchebag Councilman Jonathan Gardenier due to a "job relocation," making his only significant act on Council the institution of a tax on people who work in the Borough, breaking his campaign promise not to raise taxes during his first two years on Council. Way to waste yet another vote, Souderton.
Souderton approves $2.5 million pool loan
The loan size was increased from the originally proposed $2 million
Of course. Borough Council never met a debt it didn't want to increase. Now apparently, Council plans to use that extra $500,000 as an "emergency" fund in case costs go over estimate (which they inevitably will).
“It’s our responsibility to not tap into that half million,” [Council President Brian] Goshow said.
Councilman Steven Toy echoed Goshow’s statements, and has no plans to use the money for the pool project unless it is absolutely necessary.
“I don’t hear anybody saying they want to use that money,” Toy said. “It’s contingency. That’s all it is.”
Prediction: Souderton will use the extra $500,000. All of it. If not more. They'll blow through it like a hooker through dope.
The only other item of interest in the article is the resignation of smug douchebag Councilman Jonathan Gardenier due to a "job relocation," making his only significant act on Council the institution of a tax on people who work in the Borough, breaking his campaign promise not to raise taxes during his first two years on Council. Way to waste yet another vote, Souderton.
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