Another One-Joke Entry

Monday, October 25, 2010
Fun with the 'ICS Fun' staff

I admit, I jumped ahead and cheated on this one. There was a video posted that caught my attention, and before I could avert my eyes and scroll past, I saw that it involved some elementary schoolchildren. So I'll guess this is a "kids say the darndest things" post.

I always enjoy talking to students and such was the case Oct. 21 when I was invited to speak at Immaculate Conception School in Jenkintown.

Classic! This is literally a waste of words. "I like doing X, so when I did X, I liked it."

After several years without a school newspaper, school officials and the kids have decided to “re-launch” a publication, this one called “ICS Fun,” the name of which was suggested by fifth-grader Kylie Purcaro.

Prediction: the quality of the ICS Fun publication will soon far out-distance that of Outta Leftfield. Little Ms. Purcaro already has a leg up on Morsch in the creativity department.

Robert Loughney, president of the Immaculate Conception School Home and School Association, contacted me and asked if I would speak to the students as a representative of their “hometown newspaper,” the Times Chronicle, an offer that I never turn down no matter what school or age group of students, from elementary to college.

Good thing they didn't ask you to tell the kids about run-on sentences. And Mr. Loughney - next time, ask an actual professional to show up.

My mom was a teacher and my dad was a school superintendent, so maybe the attraction to the education field is in my blood. All I know is that I do like the opportunity to give back to the communities with which I am involved.

Is this satire? Because if it isn't, I haven't seen anything remotely resembling humor so far.

Thanks to IMS Principal Dr. Diane Greco (who we learned in class used to be a ballerina, a “scoop” that the student journalists were urged to pursue for a future edition of the school newspaper), I was welcomed to the school.

The school's collective IQ immediately dipped by 20 points.

I was relieved, however, that Dr. Greco did not ask me to dance because I have not practiced by ballet steps in quite a while.

I believe he means "practiced MY ballet steps." Unless he has a cold.

Ah, halfway in and we have our first clumsy stab at a joke. To me - and this is just me - it seems a tad trite to make an "I can't dance" joke so soon after he devoted an entire column to the subject.

Newspaper class moderator is Elena Cipolla, who when I arrived was imploring the kids to “make the deadline” or they wouldn’t be in a position to produce their first issue of the ICS Fun next week.

I wish I had a nickel for every time that I’ve been asked — or that I’ve asked a reporter — to “make the deadline” in the past 30 years.

This would imply that people were actually willing to pay him for his work, which, in a sane world, nobody would.

I spent about an hour with the kids, which ranged in age from fifth grade through eighth grade.

Case in point - "which" doesn't go with "kids." You don't say, "I spent an hour with my niece and nephew, which are four and two." Idiot.

We talked about reading (good writers are good readers) and writing and making deadlines.

"Good writers are good readers." Very true. Name the last time the author has referred to any book he has read.

I rest my case.

We even went over the video aspect of what a reporter does these days, which you can see a little bit of in the accompanying video. I was glad to offer pointers and encourage the students in their venture.

The sad part about this is that the kids probably thought he was cool. What a disservice to our youth.

Hopefully ICS Fun will be a learning experience and successful endeavor for the students and the school. And maybe one or two of the kids will become professional reporters or editors some day.

And maybe, just maybe, they will become reporters who report on meaningful things, or editors who know the basics of grammar. Unlike some.

Labels: Immaculate Conception School, Mike Morsch, Montgomery Newspapers, Outta Leftfield