Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Hurtling toward the 'Age of Grumpiness'
Back in May, Morsch posted a column about the "grump bone," a rather vague term that had something to do with his recent knee surgery. Dare we expect shades of that classic here?
If a new study is any indication, it appears that I don’t have too much longer until I start down the path to “The Age of Grumpiness.”
Ah, talented is the writer who repeats his column title in the first paragraph.
It’s not that I don’t do my share of grumping. I’m already at an age where I do a pretty decent job of being cranky at times, especially when there are no ballgames to watch, which is not the case right now as the Phillies continue to play October baseball.
What else would the Philles play? October badminton?
But according to a wire service story,
Formula for a Morsch column: make joke in first paragraph, than summarize boring news article. Print.
a cable television survey out of London shows that in a study of 2,000 Britons, those over the age of 50 yukked it up far less than younger people. Not only that, the over 50 crowd complained a lot more.
This doesn't seem like a study with a whole lot of scientific merit. If Morsch owns a thesaurus, I hope he opens it one day to find a synonym for "laughter" other than "yukked."
This would be the place to insert the standard Old Guy’s Lament: “Hey you British kids get off my lawn!”
Yeah, because I ALWAYS hear people yell that in real life!
The survey showed that infants laughed up to 300 times a day (little kids will laugh at anything, like putting lipstick on the dog); teenagers laughed only six times a day (you wouldn’t have much time to laugh either if you spent most your time whining about all the homework you had to do);
The Big Morsch Cliche Express rolls on, folks.
and folks over age 60 laughed only 2.5 times a day (because it’s not funny when one pulls a hamstring getting out of a recliner).
This actually happened to him. Guaranteed.
By the way, men were found to be grumpier than women. This should come as no surprise whatsoever because it is the men in general who are in charge of lawn enforcement rules.
I really need to go back and find how often he's used the "get off my lawn" thing. It's a frighteningly high number.
So, when I get to age 52, I’ll be grumpy. And I thought I was just going to be sleepy.
Why did he think that? Why does he reference age 52 instead of age 50 (the one mentioned in the survey)? What was the point of any of this?
Labels: Mike Morsch, Montgomery Newspapers, Outta Leftfield
This moron is just getting worse and worse. There was absolutely no point to this column, no facts, and he is not funny. I didn't get the '52' reference either since it had nothing to do with the survey.
ReplyDeleteBTW, Morsch throws a subtle Sarah Palin/Republican voters insult in here. I believe the "little kids laugh at anything, including lipstick on a dog" is a shot at the "hockey mom/pitbull" joke Palin made at the convention. The man is a seething cauldron of hate when it comes to Republicans.