Humorless Humor Column

Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Southpaws sighted at signing

The season hasn't even started yet - heck, as Morsch himself continually points out, pitchers and catchers haven't even reported yet - and already we've got back-to-back baseball stories!

By the way, an email I just sent tried to auto-correct "Morsch" to "Borsch." I think this might be what I call him from now on.

Although most people think of Phillies Hall of Fame pitcher Steve Carlton when they hear the name “Lefty,” our friends at the Hatboro-based Philadelphia Athletics Historical Society (www.philadelphiaathletics.org) have a couple of favorite “lefties” of their own — and they’re not named Carlton.

Shameless Promotion Alert? In an October 6, 2009 blog, regarding the Athletics Historical Society, Morsch states: I am honored to be a board member of that non-profit organization. Isn't promoting an organization you belong to worse than, say, mentioning that you like a restaurant?

On Saturday at the Days Inn in Horsham, two local lefties familiar to generations of baseball fans drew a big crowd of autograph seekers.

How many autograph events does Morsch attend in a year? And does he get paid for these things?

Note: I tried to include said video here, there's something wrong with Borsch's blog - couldn't even view it. My apologies.

Curt Simmons, who along with the late Robin Roberts were the mainstays of the 1950 “Whiz Kids” pitching staff, and Bobby Shantz, the 1952 American League Most Valuable Player as a pitcher for Connie Mack’s Philadelphia Athletics, greeted fans, told stories and signed autographs for a couple of hours prior to an A’s Society auction of memorabilia.

Ah, we all remember the superhumanly kind Mr. Roberts from Morsch's insulting tribute article.

Both southpaw hurlers, who enjoyed long careers in Major League Baseball, still hail from the area.

I hate "hurlers" - it sounds like a cricket term and really doesn't translate to baseball.

Shantz, originally from Pottstown, has been an Ambler resident since his playing days ended in the mid-1960s. Simmons, a native of Whitehall Township, is co-owner of Limekiln Golf Club in Ambler.

Hilarious! Wait, this is supposed to be funny, right? Because it's a humor column?

In the interest of full disclosure, I’m a volunteer commissioner for the A’s Society. It’s a wonderful non-profit group full of great baseball people that has kept alive the memory of the Philadelphia Athletics, who moved to Kansas City after the 1954 season.

From his August 15, 2009 article: In the interest of full disclosure, I am on the board of directors for the A’s Society. Sounds familiar...

I always enjoy the events featuring retired players and it’s amazing how many fans remember them long after their playing days.

And isn't it amazing how, all these years later, people still remember George Washington and "Black Jack" Pershing and Elvis? Long after their respective careers were over. It truly boggles the mind.

This was a terrible article with not even an attempt (and let's face it - Borsch rarely makes it further than an attempt) at a joke. I'd say he's not trying anymore, but that assumes that he was actually trying at some point.

Labels: Mike Morsch, Montgomery Newspapers, Outta Leftfield, Philadelphia Athletics Historical Society