Another WACKY Holiday!

Outta Leftfield:
You Know, Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day didn't just pop up
Published: Wednesday, February 02, 2011
Mike Morsch
Executive Editor

Not "By Mike Morsch"... just "Mike Morsch." And why is "You Know" capitalized but "didn't just pop up" isn't?

Monday was Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day. I know, I know. I missed it, too.

Ah, it's time for Morsch to poke fun at something that was supposed to be funny to begin with!

In fact, it was the 11th annual Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day — known as BWAD — and oddly enough, I have missed every single one of them. One would think that something called BWAD would have garnered my attention long before now.

Why?

Originally designed as insulated wallpaper, Bubble Wrap was introduced in 1960. But it wasn’t working out so great as wallpaper, so inventor Marc Chavannes came up with another idea for the product: to use it to protect fragile items.

Unlike certain other paragraphs in Outta Leftfield history, Morsch didn't rip this word-for-word from Wikipedia (although the bare bones are there). He neglects to include the name of co-inventor Alfred Fielding (I admit I got that from Wiki).

Well, that was a better idea. Reportedly there is now enough Bubble Wrap produced to stretch from Earth to the moon and back. That fact alone certainly lends credibility to the need to set aside a day to properly appreciate the role that Bubble Wrap plays in our society.

This isn't an actual holiday. This is a fun promotional thing, like Pretzel Day at work.

I would suggest while we’re at it, maybe we should have a Toothpick Appreciation Day and a Hey, This Winter Really Stinks Appreciation Day, the latter of which is particularly relevant this time of year. I would support both of those initiatives by taking a day off from work.

Why is winter relevant this time of year? Could it be because it's winter? The only thing Morsch hates more than winter is Sarah Palin.

“Hello boss, I won’t be in to work today because it’s Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day. And I won’t be in tomorrow because it’s Toothpick Appreciation Day, or the day after because it’s Hey, This Winter Really Stinks Appreciation Day.”

Heh heh... heh. Can you imagine if I pointed out how funny it is to say the exact same thing in back-to-back paragraphs?!?

"Hello readers, you know what's funny? Saying the exact same thing in back-to-back paragraphs!"

To be followed, no doubt, by Mike Standing in the Unemployment Line Appreciation Day.

Believe me, I would be first in line to celebrate that day.

But all of that is for another time. This week we are appreciating Bubble Wrap. According to the website www.bubblewrapfun.com and other published reports, here are few fun facts about Bubble Wrap:

Hey, why write your own material when you can take someone else's, right?

One of the most unusual items protected by Bubble Wrap was an 815-pound pumpkin named “Gourdzilla,” which I must admit is some very creative pumpkin naming, for those who engage in such activity.

Wow, praise from Caesar!

Apparently at a pumpkin-dropping contest in Iowa — I spent several years in Iowa and I know there isn’t much to keep folks entertained there, hence the need for pumpkin-dropping contests — the great pumpkin remained intact after being dropped from a 35-foot crane onto a big pile of Bubble Wrap. (A giant pumpkin, a crane and some Bubble Wrap — tell me that idea didn’t originate in some bar at closing time.)

Is this even about Bubble Wrap anymore? It seems like we're wandering a bit off-course...

Just to clarify, “pumpkin dropping” differs from “punkin chunkin” in that while the droppers use a crane and Bubble Wrap, the chuckers (no evidence the participants are actually called “chunkiners”) use a catapult, slingshots, cannons and other mechanical devices to launch the pumpkins for distance. There is no mention of Bubble Wrap, although I believe the popping would add an interesting sound effect to proceedings featuring flying pumpkins.

No, it's really not about Bubble Wrap anymore. I wonder who it was who told Morsch that the phrase "add X to the proceedings" sounds smart.

As a onetime Iowa resident, I thought it important to make the distinction for city folks.

Another fun fact about Bubble Wrap is that according to an online survey at www.bubblewrapfun.com, one-third of those who are fans of Bubble Wrap prefer the “one-bubble-at-a-time” popping method. (That is my preference as well.) The second most popular method of popping is the “grasp and twist” of a whole sheet of bubbles, but that seems to accelerate the proceedings to the point of taking some of the fun out of it.

Ooh a little spin on the old formula - he didn't say ADD to the proceedings this time.

Consider for a moment that somebody has come up with the idea to devote an entire website to popping Bubble Wrap and that alone confirms that it is indeed a fun activity. In fact, if one doesn’t have any Bubble Wrap handy, one can go on the website and actually pop bubbles online.

There are websites devoted to snuff films as well. Is making snuff films a fun activity? And again, this whole "Bubble Wrap Day" is supposed to be funny. It's a joke holiday, like all the others Morsch discusses. He doesn't so much make comedy on his own as point out the comedy others have already made!

Furthering the fun factor of this product, the New Jersey company that makes Bubble Wrap — Sealed Air — offers its employees their own memo-sized sheets of Bubble Wrap to play with at their desks.

That seems like a relatively cool perk, huh? Try talking the boss into letting you do that at any other business.

That's akin to Walmart employees receiving Walmart gift cards for Christmas. It's lame.

Lest you think that January hogged all the ridiculous holidays, tucked snugly between Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day and the ever-popular Groundhog Day is Work Naked Day on Feb. 1.

Groundhog Day isn't ridiculous. Everyone loves that holiday.

Can Sit Around and Think Up Stupid Holidays Appreciation Day be far behind?

How about Sit Around and Think Up Dumb Columns Day?