Kolors = Komedy!

Friday, August 27, 2010
Doctor's office goes green

What an unexpected gift! It's Friday, I have a half hour of work left before my vacation... what better way to spend it than dissecting this latest Morsch abomination?

My orthopedic surgeon (North Penn Orthopaedic Associates)

Uh-oh, Shameless Promotion Alert! Or not. I hope that Morsch does his trademark "gush about how great X place is" routine.

moved to new digs this week — from an older building in Lansdale to a brand new office building in Chalfont — and one of the first things I wanted to know from him on my most recent visit was whether or not he had any say in decorating the place.

Ho-ho, isn't Morsch such a zany, off-beat character? Who would walk into their orthopedic surgeon's office and ask about the decorating,? Or should I say, who else but Morsch? What a nut!

You see, his name is Dr. Thomas Greene and his new office is decked out in . . . all green.

Get. Out. Of. Town. This is blowing my mind.

Yeah, it could be intentional. On the other hand, green is one of your basic colors. Could just as easily have been all yellow in there.

From the carpets to the floor tiles, from the office furniture to the smocks worn by the office workers, everything is green, and a good bit of it is lime green.
I knew the 1970s would eventually come back around, which means my lime green leisure suit is back in style. (Or maybe not.)

Morsch would have felt right at home in the 1970's, when baseball players had even stranger names and our Republican presidents were EVIL Republican presidents.

“Why do you ask, because everything is green?” said a laughing Dr. Greene when I inquired. “No, I didn’t have anything to do with it.”

Dr. Greene must have an amazing bedside manner. He even pretends to be amused by Morsch's sly investigation.

I thought for sure he might have had something to do with it. Even if he didn’t, I think he should have a little fun with it and say he did.

Question: can you be "for sure" if the next words out of your mouth are "might have"?

That’s not to suggest that the décor is unattractive.

Oh, heaven forbid! Morsch rushes to retract his previous statements, lest they sound even the slightest bit critical. I mean, nothing is less funny than making fun of something, right?

It’s just a lot of green in one place. And the furniture is so new that it needs to be broken in a little bit. I offered to bounce up and down on some of the chairs while I waited, but I got right in to see the doctor and didn’t have much of a chance to contribute.

Careful there, Morsch - if the act of walking tears ligaments in your knees, just think what bouncing will do. You'll be lucky if you can even lumber to a local concert again!

Apparently my knee, on which I had surgery about six months ago, is coming along fine, which means I shouldn’t have to see much more of Dr. Greene’s green office as I continue to heal properly.

I know I ask this regularly, but - is this supposed to be funny? And can the author himself think that it's funny? The name "Greene" and the word "green" sound similar. Does that make it hilarious?

But it’s good to know that if I have some specific colors in mind for home decorating needs, I can call Dr. Greene’s designers — Interiors By Kermit The Frog.

I get it! Because he's green, right? Granted, it's got to be hard to think of funny things to say about an office being decorated in primarily green colors. It's not a very funny thing to begin with, really. "Hey, it's all green in here! And the doctor's name is Greene. Know who else is green? Kermit the Frog." Give Morsch credit for trying to make a silk purse out of sow's ear, though.

Actually I'm surprised he didn't use more phrases with "green" in them; green with envy, green-eyed monster, Fenway Park's Green Monster (baseball references ahoy!) etc. Maybe he could look up "National Green Day" on the Internets. Morsch really failed to poop all over this topic.

Labels: Dr. Thomas Greene, Mike Morsch, Montgomery Newspapers, North Penn Orthopaedic Associates, Outta Leftfield

"Orthopaedic?"